LCGray

Why?

2012-02-03T12:38:00.000-08:00

True conversation in the car yesterday:

Julia: "Mommy, do you know about woodpeckers?"

Me - "No Julia, what can you tell me about them?"

J- "Well, they are kind of weird, they bang their head against the trees."

Me- "Hmm, that is kind of weird. Do you know why they do that?"

J -"Because Christmas is over."

This sentence has permeated every one of our conversations with Julia lately. The one and only time we have said, "because Christmas is over" to Julia was when we took our tree down. She became very concerned with the rationale behind the removal of our tree, which had become somewhat of a houseguest according to Julia. Each morning around Christmas Julia would wake up and greet the tree, she'd play hide-n-seek with it and run her toys into the trunk. It was very much a member of our house for that wonderful month. She loved it more than we knew.

A girl and her tree.

Now, "because Christmas is over" spans every conversation from "why did you take off your Pull-up and pee pee in the crib at daycare?" to "why don't you want to finish your breakfast?" This is Julia's reasoning for everything she does. We're not really sure if this is an act of defiance. It is a common theme when she doesn't want to do something or has done something wrong and is sometimes blurted out with a dose of tears. I have this image of her 20 years from now leading a protest against the extinction of our forests. No, it really doesn't make sense to venture to a tree farm, pick out a beautiful, living, piney friend, bring it home, decorate it, sing songs about it, lovingly water it, open gifts under its lovely branches, only to take it down, and haul it to the end of the street for the garbage trucks to remove. So, when Julia does something that doesn't make sense (which is quite often), why not use this phrase?

Now we get it.

So why do those silly woodpeckers bang their heads against trees?
Why do we cut down Christmas trees?

Who knows?

Christmas is over.

Soup's on.

2012-01-24T19:20:00.000-08:00

Some women claim flowers as the key to their heart. For others, it's diamonds or romance. For me? I choose warmth. I could begin my dissertation on how a warm-blooded girl actually ended up in New England, but I shall summarize it in the following sentence: In my quest to follow love (aka: move to my husband's hometown), I began my never-ending quest for warmth.

Simple love for me is found in wrapping my hands around a warm cup of coffee on a brisk morning, a roaring fire, mittens, my well-worn UGG moccasins and freshly washed blankets. And nothing says good old fashioned down-home love as homemade bread and a simmering pot of soup.

I could sit here all day with these great things all within reach.

When we made the cinnamon rolls last week, I made two pots of soup to enjoy. It was an easy way to feed a crowd and a flexible, compact meal. The Pioneer Woman website inspired not only the cinnamon rolls, but some tasty soup options. I made the Chicken Tortilla Soup for the cinnamon roll baking and the Cauliflower Soup a few days later for some easy football watching food. I am always a fan of Chicken Tortilla Soup and I was pleasantly surprised at how good the Cauliflower Soup turned out. I almost refrained from telling Charles about the cauliflower to assure that he would try it, but he didn't require much explanation. He was on his second bowl before we could discuss the contents.

And for the 3rd batch of the week is a Potato Leek Soup recipe that I make quite often in the colder months. I started making this after I found myself with a need to use up some buttermilk. I have tweaked this recipe a little bit. I use chicken broth instead of vegetable and slightly more potatoes. For those of you who are deterred from the words immersion blender as I once was, put it on your gift list or splurge at your local kitchen store on this simple tool. Once you use it, you will be seeking out recipes that require one. It is great for anything from soup to smoothies and I guarantee that you will love it! Anyway, back to the soup...I have found this to be the best potato soup recipe in my humble opinion.

It is from Alton Brown on Food Network:

Ingredients
- 1 pound leeks, cleaned and dark green sections removed, approximately 4 to 5 medium
- 3 tablespoons unsalted butter
- Heavy pinch kosher salt, plus additional for seasoning
- 14 ounces, approximately 3 small, Yukon gold potatoes, peeled and diced small
- 1 quart vegetable broth
- 1 cup heavy cream
- 1 cup buttermilk
- 1/2 teaspoon white pepper
- 1 tablespoon snipped chives
Directions
Chop the leeks into small pieces.
In a 6-quart saucepan over medium heat, melt the butter. Add the leeks and a heavy pinch of salt and sweat for 5 minutes. Decrease the heat to medium-low and cook until the leeks are tender, approximately 25 minutes, stirring occasionally.
Add the potatoes and the vegetable broth, increase the heat to medium-high, and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat to low, cover, and gently simmer until the potatoes are soft, approximately 45 minutes.
Turn off the heat and puree the mixture with an immersion blender until smooth. Stir in the heavy cream, buttermilk, and white pepper. Taste and adjust seasoning if desired. Sprinkle with chives and serve immediately, or chill and serve cold.
Stay warm!

If you bake it, they will come

2012-01-16T19:10:00.000-08:00

It started with a desire to make

Ree's Pioneer Woman Cinnamon rolls.

I will admit it, I took one look at this recipe and I couldn't resist creating an opportunity to make them. This dream was met with my friend Laura's passion to do some networking within the Western Massachusetts blog community. What better way to marry these two great tasks? Invite some creative and inspiring women to spend an afternoon chatting and baking. The end result? A wealth of really good (buttery goodness, good) cinnamon rolls and some wonderful conversation with some pretty incredible women.

The Pioneer Woman perspective is nicer and neater and doesn't forget to put the yeast in the dough during the first hour when things are supposed to be rising. Luckily we had a bread guru (I aspire to be a bread guru), Nikki who saved it with her knowledge of the fine tuned needs of yeast.

Our dough. Pre-rising, pre-yeast. It gets better from here.

The rising part allowed for some crafting and chatting. We made tags for the cinnamon rolls since we were making enough to share. And Laura had the great idea of printing the recipe to add to the gift.

and now we roll it out

Kristen's rolling out trendy style with Julia's apron on. It inspires culinary creativity by wearing it.

These are 2 of the 4 balls of dough ready to take a butter bath.

3lbs of butter went into the creation of these rolls. Yes, you read it right, 3lbs. That's a lot of butter. It all went to a worthy cause - 15 batches of ooey-gooey cinnamon rolls.

It's still a lot of butter.

Butter lined tins.

This is the part where it all comes together. The part that requires self -restraint to allow it to bake before digging in.

A quote from Kristen,"it feels like a bicep".
Eating these will not produce biceps, but the labor part definitely justifies the consumption.

Beauty.
Ready for baking.

I'm not a huge fan of frosting, but this sealed it. We tweaked the recipe a bit, but it complimented the rolls perfectly.

6-ladies
4-hours of fun
2-batches each to take home and share
1-for some taste testing to enjoy our creations and reflect on the day

check out their great blogs:

(from left to right)

Nikki - http://www.artandlemons.com/

Kristen and Laura - http://www.planteatcreate.com/

Emily - http://www.relishments.com/blog/

Cynthia - http://itallchanges.com/

The hidden perks of parenting

2012-01-12T11:34:00.000-08:00

Winter has arrived. Mornings at the park are on hold for the next few months. This equates to some pretty interesting days stuck inside and a daily frustration of coming up with something fun to do. I have officially shut down the many bells and whistles that were attached to the hundreds of toys that have made themselves at home in our living room since Christmas. You can only cook so many brownies in Julia's play kitchen until you need another fun activity. I have to admit, the TV has been on much more than I'd like to admit. There are moments when I have thought to myself, if I hear the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse introduction one more time, I might go crazy. Though these characters have a special place in my daughter's heart, the daily toddler-driven cartoons begin to wear on your sanity.

Yes, the TV has even captured Charlie's attention!

Two nights ago, I couldn't take it anymore. We turned off the TV and decided to have a Pandora dance party courtesy of the Veggie Tales song mix. We rocked out to Alvin and the Chipmunks and some praiseBaby and suddenly, our house was filled with one of the greatest childhood songs ever: Doe a Deer from The Sound of Music. This song is iconic not only for the sing-along lyrics, but if you've watched the movie, it is wonderfully choreographed. While holding Charlie, I taught Julia the steps straight from the movie (I just wish that I had a beautifully landscaped staircase and some Von Trapp children to help me out). Both of the kids got a huge kick out of it.

Suddenly I had this huge appreciation for the opportunities that I have to share these moments with my children. When you grow up you often forget about those great childhood gems that mold your memories. One of the gifts of having a child is the simple fact that you open the door to experience it all over again.
This morning we had our first toddler storytime at the local library. It reminded me of my favorite first grade teacher who used to read to us (on the number rug) with such conviction that the stories would come alive. I watched Julia soak in the story today about a Superhero and I could see that same sense of wonder that I felt when I was little. Frankly, I was a little bit jealous that I didn't get to make a Superhero cape during the craft after the story :)

Julia and Charlie have opened this new world of reexperiencing these great things. Since having children, I have rediscovered my love for PB&J, some good old fashioned mac and cheese and stomping in rain puddles. I have flown a kite, built daily forts, searched for bugs, went on a wild hunt for the "Silly Gilly Gumbo", marched in circles to music, and heck, I've even had a turn or two in a bounce house. It may sound silly, but sometimes I stop and thank Julia for the opportunity to do some of these special things. While I have many painful days ahead filled with Mickey Mouse, glitter nailpolish, and reading the same book over and over again, I can't complain. This stuff is just way too much fun!

And in the meantime, for those of you who need a fine balance, I have found a little snippet that you may enjoy. Julia and I both agree that we like this clip.
I love Feist. Julia loves Sesame Street. And they came together for a special treat!
*WARNING* If you watch this clip, you will likely sing it in your head for days on end. But it will make you laugh to sing, "1-2-3-4, Chickens come back from the shore".

Homecoming (kind of)

2012-01-08T19:27:00.000-08:00

Charlie has graciously allowed a room tour. This is not just any room tour. This is Charlie's "it's officially done and I can live here" room tour. It only took us 6 months to finally pull it together for him. There are several reasons that it took this long for Charlie to finally sleep in his room. I will list the top three:

1. He is the second child. Enough said.

2. His room was held as a bargaining tool. Charlie would stay in the bassinette until the room was complete. Charles didn't like this idea, but it was the only way that I could assure that the pictures would be hung.

3. With the knowledge that Charlie could possibly be our last child, I took every opportunity to keep him right next to me as long as I could. At one point a few weeks ago, we had a running joke that Charlie would return home from the prom and tell his friends, "Hey guys, goodnight. I'm going to my parent's room to sleep in the bassinette now". Somewhere in each of my blogs I end up having to acknowledge, "poor Charlie". Yes, poor thing. Good thing he has a great room.

Anyway, let's start with how the room looked less than a year ago. You might remember the horrible wood from this BABY BOY GRAY post. Let me just insert one picture to bring it home. It doesn't help that I took this picture at night, but the room was so dark, I could never imagine this space as a child's room.

Fast-forward 9 months.

I can just hear him saying, "Hi my name is Charlie. Also known as Cha-ley to my sister. Often referred to as 'Choo Choo Charlie' and 'Charlie-bear'. Anyway, welcome to my room!"

We started with a white and gray pallette on the walls, and it just made sense to add in the yellow. The yellow carpet pulls it all together along with the wall hangings. My parents also bought Charlie a great nightlight that has red and darker blues in it, which work in small ways throughout the room. (You can see the nightlight peeking out from behind the chair).

So much brighter huh?

The two prints on the right are from two of my favorite Etsy shops. You should check them out!

Almost Sunday has custom prints (you can see Charlie's stats in the "our little sunshine" print if you look closely). I would like to order one of everything from her shop. Amazing graphic designs!

Raw Art Letter Press had a great assortment of "sunshine" themed prints.

Both were great to order from - so accommodating and eager to embark on a custom order!

The "you are my sunshine" frame is from my most favorite beach store ever - South Moon Under. Rehoboth Beach may be 400 miles away, but this frame is like a little piece of beachy goodness.

This letter "C" is brought to you by the lovely Kate Morgner. I think it was inspired by Pinterest, but she is pretty stinking creative herself! :)

The hanging shelf was made by my grandfather. You can't see it well, but it is a great blend of sturdy and funky. I love it.

It is quite difficult to capture the great pieces of this room through pictures. But there it is. We've come a long way. The room is done. I tossed the white flag of surrender in the big debate on when Charlie will finally be allowed to sleep here. He we have successfully made the transition on the first of the year.

Sleep tight Charlie-bear.

REsolution.

2012-01-02T18:44:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time in a time far away, I left. A friend and I decided one night that we would drive to Colorado. We packed up our clothes and our dogs, left our responsibilities for a week and we drove. We drove until we reached the place that made the most sense. Across the neverending fields of Kansas. Catching every sunrise. Embracing the freedom. Singing along to Rosie Thomas all the way.

I happened to find my journal from that time 8 years ago as I was putting away some Christmas things. I laughed as I read and relived that great sense of accomplishment for following through. A little urge to drive across country, as crazy as it sounded at that moment, was met with action.

In every heart is the deep ache for adventure. It is up to us how we choose to quench it. Sometimes it means doing the craziest things that don't make sense. Eight years ago I slept in a car in the middle of a Colorado winter just so that I could catch the thrill of a Steamboat Springs sunrise. I was so excited from the adventure of it all, I didn't even realize how cold it was.

It was amazing.

I was younger then.

Adventure has taken on a whole new meaning.
Charles and I sat down and made our lists of resolutions and somehow life has become a little bit more predictable. As we talked about our goals for the year, I thought back to some of my words in my journal from 8 years before.

On January 1st, 2004 I had written out my resolutions:

*Take road trips - CHECK (I left for Colorado the next week)

*Take a pottery class at the local art museum - CHECK (ahh, and in the midst of it, I learned to relax!)

*Read "To Kill A Mockingbird" - CHECK (still my favorite!)

*Spend more time with Grandpop - (I pray I did, he died later that year)

*Embrace love - CHECK (I'm not sure that I meant meeting my future husband, but I just so happened to meet Charles in April of 2004 - pretty neat timing)

After these resolutions I wrote:

FIND YOUR ADVENTURE

Sometimes it makes sense to be predictable. I don't know that there are many road trips in my immediate future this year. If there are, they involve 2 car seats and lots of gear, which somehow negates the freedom factor of a true road trip. I do know that there is a big place for adventure in my life right now.

It looks different, but I am content to hang out with my rockstar

and blow bubbles after bathtime.

I resolve to take more photos

and run a half marathon.

Resolutions don't have to be boring. Sometimes we get so caught up in the "must do's" that we miss the whole point.

So, this year I left an extra special space on my list of resolutions. A space for one crazy thing that makes no sense in the predictability needed as a parent. I dare you to squeeze in one more space for adventure on your list. One thing that you talk yourself out of or think you will never achieve. Keep it there. You may not check out for a week to explore, but you may just find one of those spontaneous moments to embrace it.

Christmas highlights

2011-12-29T12:23:00.000-08:00

No matter how much we tried to put on the breaks around here, Christmas came in like a freight train. In the midst of the peace of Julia in the role of an angel in the Christmas Eve children's service and the quiet moments with Charlie before Julie awoke on Christmas morning, we were bombarded with the joyful sounds and experiences of Christmas. The unwrapping process took approximately four days due to Julia's insistence on playing with every gift that she opened and helping Charlie unwrap his packages. We are still reading "Twas the Night Before Christmas" and Julia takes care of her daily arrangement and rearrangement of her 3 nativity scenes. It is quite appropriate that it is a prolonged experience here. I think by the time we squeeze fullness out of the season, the wisemen will be arriving at the Bethlehem manger stall.

Christmas last year was quite different. It involved an 18-month old who could care less about the volume of her gifts, but enjoyed every part of unwrapping the boxes. I watched a video of her at Christmas-time last year and she was a wobbly toddler who spoke with words that only a mother could decipher. Now, she is a surefooted little girl who is very clear about her needs. Since Charlie and Julia are almost exactly two years apart, I can look at the pictures of Julia from last year and imagine how Charlie will experience it next year. There are so many photos from this holiday season that are such fun reminders of how things have changed. They have familiar tones of years past and as I see them, I can't help but think ahead....

We were so excited to see Julia's reaction to the gifts under the tree on Christmas morning. We couldn't wait for her to wake up, so we sent Charlie in to get his sister:

I always did this to my sister. I find it to be one of the top reasons of all time to provide your child with a sibling (among other things...)

Julia's favorite gift was her kitchen. She is such a good little cook and she has been diligently at work in that kitchen since she "unwrapped" it at 8:30am on Christmas morning. At this very moment, she is making brownies - brownies with a plastic fried egg on top.
Top Chef, eat your heart out.

Her fairy costume was a distant second favorite.

A fairy princess who cooks. She just waves her wand and the cooking is complete.
Ha, brilliant! I wish I had that kind of power.

Charlie enjoyed the wrapping paper the most, but he decided to hang out with George most of the day. What a precious little gift. Last year we didn't quite know who he was (although he definitely made his presence known to me). Now he is celebrating his first Christmas. We gave him sweet potatoes for Christmas dinner to celebrate - his first food. He is off and ready to eat (and is quite willing to consume Julia's culinary creations!)

And finally, the only thing that could pull Julia away from her own kitchen is the opportunity to bake with me in the "big kitchen". Mainly because it usually involves sprinkles and the chance to get messy. I love these photos. They remind me of the memories that I cherish with my family as every holiday involved cooking great recipes among the many generations in my family. Although I longed for my mother and grandmothers in the kitchen with me this year, I was excited to continue this with my children. Yes, the time in the kitchen is usually doubled, but it is priceless.

My hope is that your Christmas was filled with thoughts of family, memories past and hopes for the future. And more importantly, I hope it was truly special just as the New Life who came to earth to save the earth.

Merry Christmas!

Dear Santa...

2011-12-16T08:01:00.000-08:00

Dear Santa,
When my daughter asks you for a "kitchen with food in it and pots to cook with", please note that this is referring to the toy she wants wrapped under the tree, not an actual kitchen. We don't need directions to the nearest food pantry. And while we're at it, please don't judge me for the fact that we are rewrapping some of Julia's old toys for Charlie. We couldn't possibly stand to have another toy enter into this home.
Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to clarify.
Sincerely,
Julia's mommy

Christmas bow

2011-12-12T17:29:00.001-08:00

I woke up early yesterday morning in a cold sweat. It seems I have inherited the same dream that used to plague my mother around Christmas-time. It involves waking up on Christmas morning with the sinking realization that I have forgotten to buy gifts.

This season is bursting with busyness in this household. Charlie will be 5 months old tomorrow, which is just another reminder of how quickly time seems to be flying by. Though the giftless dream is a bit far-fetched, it is a little kick in the pants to get things done. Getting things done around here is an elementary lesson in keeping things simple. Most of our shopping has been done thanks to the internet, the ornaments that were hung during Julia's 10 minute window of attention are now the ones on display. The others will make an appearance next year. The advent calendar was a big hit the first week with the theme of JOY, but the focus on GIVING this week has been a bit more difficult for Julia. Some of our daily challenges have come up empty.

Keeping it simple is the only way to function around here.

The other morning, Julia needed a bow for her hair - something special for her first meeting with Santa. She goes through bows like outfits. One minute they are there and accounted for, the next moment she needs a change (which often involves the extinction of the bow)...I don't know why I bother.

So, I didn't have any red fabric to match her "pretty dress", but I had red felt, a piece ribbon, a stamp, ink, some pillow stuffing, oh, and five minutes.

I stamped Julia's name onto a piece of ribbon, sewed it to one of the 2 pieces of red felt, placed the circles on top of each other and sewed it around (adding in the stuffing when almost fully around). I hot glued it onto a pre-made fastener - and she was all set.

And in prime Julia form to meet Santa to tell him exactly what she'd like for Christmas.

She actually told him three times.

She is a girl who knows what she wants.

baby feet

2011-12-02T09:21:00.001-08:00

This week's advent theme is JOY. Julia decided on the first morning that her daddy is the one thing that brings her the most joy. Good call Julia, I have to agree! Hands down my greatest joy is my family and on a smaller scale, baby feet. Yes, you have read it right. Baby feet. There is no sweeter sound in the world than hearing Julia's little feet on the hardwood floors in the morning when she is going to sneak into bed with us. I loved watching her little feet carry her as she spun circle after circle while dancing to her music this morning. And capturing the fresh, new life scent of tiny baby feet and seeing each line and fold intricately designed brings me to a place of awe and reverence for how my children were knit together.

moments after Julia's birth - June 2009

After each of my children were born, one of the first photos taken of the two of us together involves me studying their feet. I wonder if Mary did the same for Jesus. A powerful leader who was once so delicate. I wonder if she just basked in the tiny miracle knowing that her precious bundle was the Savior of the world.

I wonder what great things are in store for my children also - where these little feet will carry them throughout their lives.

Hanging above our bed in our room is a reminder of this. It is a collage of Julia's feet as she's grown and now pictures of Charlie are added too. Among these pictures is the verse from Romans - "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news." - Romans 10:15. It is our reminder as we go to bed and as we start our day for our daily blessings and our focus for the day.

How appropriate to continue this theme into Charlie's baptism invitations? There is nothing like a great excuse to capture his footprint. I had Julia's footprints all over everything when she was small. Charles says that there are child labor laws against the amount of time that I spend utilizing my children to some extent in these projects. My response: they are only little for a short time. I have take it and run with it while I can.

What are the great things that bring joy this season? I challenge you to look into the fine print of your lives to pull out the little daily miracles that bring such joy to life.

Guest post and gearing up

2011-11-28T16:55:00.001-08:00

Whew, what a week! We are slowly coming out from behind laundry loads and leftovers after our week that involved 1 birthday, 20 Ridge Road Turkey Trot participants (0 trophies in this house), 18 lovely individuals around our Thanksgiving table, a Cirillo-Gray Christmas tree excursion (worthy of a Griswald Christmas tree!), several trips to the store to find the perfect lights, and one sweet baby boy's baptism...

It's like we've completed one race only to find another one ahead. Ahh, the marathon countdown of Christmas. I love that tomorrow begins our advent tradition. It is a wonderful tool to prepare our hearts for Christmas and a great way of introducing the reason why we celebrate. I will post more about creative ways to introduce the meaning of this holiday to the little ones, but first I wanted to highlight my guest post on my friend Laura's blog plant.eat.create. I have a minor obsession with neatly wrapped gifts so I posted a few "think out of the box" ideas for wrapping. Keep checking her blog for some creative holiday ideas from plants to centerpieces to yummy recipes...you will surely be inspired to rediscover Christmas in very simple ways! Plus, she is so much cooler than I am :)

Tis the season!

family

2011-11-27T19:28:00.001-08:00

From our sermon today:

The greatest gift that we can give this year is not what the world tells us we "should" or "must" have. It's not in the attempts at buying more or busying one self. It is investing in the true gift that is revealed through the season - Christ was born at Christmas time. HE is our gift. Let the season upon us be one of reflection and a constant inward challenge to focus on that which truly matters.

Feeling extra thankful today for the gift of Charles Ethan Gray - baptized on this day. And the wonderful gift of family, friends and our community. This past week has been a constant reminder of how blessed we are. Despite a full schedule of celebrations, I feel rejuvenated by those around us and the reminders to stop and enjoy it.

just one day

2011-11-22T16:29:00.001-08:00

I don't think much about my life before children. I really can't imagine my life any other way and when I even allow my mind to think about what things were like before Julia and Charlie, it's like thinking in terms of prehistoric times. It seems like they have been a part of me my whole life.
Yesterday was my birthday. It was a day just like any other. I got up, started the morning routine, and headed off to work. As Julia was having a tantrum about the fact that she must wear the same pink dress every day, I thought to myself, "don't I just get a day?" A day where I call all of the shots, where everyone cooperates, a day off from cleaning up incessant messes? I drove to work harping on this topic. Suddenly realized that I had about 20+ birthdays like that. Ones that involved posh restaurants and weekends away. Birthdays where my friends were all present and nobody had to miss out because of babysitting issues. Dozens of years where my mom cooked me my favorite meal and always made the most delicious cake. Halfway into my commute from work, I had convinced myself that I was missing something (a little pity party can suddenly evolve into a full fledged "I deserve this!" in no time). Once I made it to work I had figured that I needed to have an intervention with my family. My husband was going to have to understand that birthdays DEMAND more attention!

It's a good thing that I have a sobering job as a social worker to bring me back to reality. By the time I made it through my through my day, I was a bit more clear headed about the important things in life. I decided that this intervention could be toned down a bit. On my drive home, I thought about how to make the most of the rest of my day. If it meant cuddling on the couch with my little ones, I was content with that.
Well...I walked into my house and was greeted by my very eager toddler who had made me a card. Not just any card, it was the most beautiful and special handmade card that I've ever received. This was met shortly after by my husband who was in the kitchen making a meal that would surely meet the requirements for Top Chef. Not that I was surprised, but Charlie was his content, belly-laughing self to pull it all together. The night unfolded into this wonderful family time that I could have easily missed if I continued to measure the fun factor by the expectations from my non-parenthood days. I mean, really, who gets serenaded by a kazoo for the birthday song?

Really, I guess I don't think much about my life before Charlie and Julia because I don't know that I felt things so powerfully and in such a rich way. As we said grace before our meal we prayed for mommy's birthday and also the "squirrel with God", (yes, we pray for the roadkill in our neighborhood), which somehow a funny reminder to stay grounded. All of it is important in its own way.

And on a side note, I actually did get my fair share of adult time. This included a visit from my dear friend, Kate and a great dinner our with some of our closest friends (and yes, everyone secured their babysitters).

My husband tells me that planning my birthday takes a year off of his life. He has 364 days before he needs to worry about that again...

thankful, thankful

2011-11-11T05:36:00.001-08:00

This time last year I posted about the interesting month we had in November...I was newly pregnant and hardly functioning because I was so sick. We were in the thick of our kitchen remodel and I can recall vividly that each day was such a struggle to just maintain the basics. On top of that, we had a few scares and wondered if the pregnancy would continue. We obviously made it through, and I remember feeling such a sense of thankfulness during that season. God had literally carried us through from moment to moment and in the midst of all of it, we were surrounded by little gifts that just made us stop and give thanks. There is nothing like hardship that will bring you to your knees in gratitude for the simple things in life. In my mind, there was nothing that could compare to that time in our lives one year ago.

Well, fast forward one year...

November roared in with a NorEaster that delivered about 15 inches of snow and made a whole heck of a mess. We were without power for a week and after 3 days of it (with a very cold 3-month old and an active toddler), I headed to safer ground with the kids while Charles stayed behind to take care of the mess. We made an impromptu visit to Delaware until power was restored. It was almost as if we pressed pause in our lives for a week. During the time we were here, we built fires, ate what was salvagable, and lived by candle-light. The first night of our power outage, we sat around the fire with our neighbors and let the kids run their energy out. Because our neighbors have gas, they were able to cook up some hot dinners the following nights, so we collected what we could offer and ate our meals with them. (Yes, they had us over despite the fact that our big oak tree had fallen across their car!)

Though this year is very different from last, we are again reminded in a big way of all of the things for which we are thankful.

I am thankful for the major stuff: Our health. A healthy baby who is full of life despite our uncertainty this time last year. The fact that our home was not damaged in a big way. Precious time with family. The basics in life that we rely on everyday - like power and hot showers. And I am thankful for these situations that bring to light the small things.

I am thankful for this picture of Charlie in awe of his great-great grandmother.

What a gift!

We are okay and resuming this crazy life of ours.
In 2 weeks we are hosting Thanksgiving and Charlie's baptism. Despite that fact that our front lawn is now home to piles upon piles of huge branches that my lumberjack husband has cut up, it will all get done. And we will sit down and eat, and enjoy family, and wonder how we did it all.

And after all of it, we will again give thanks.

Halloween treats

2011-10-23T18:30:00.000-07:00

While the rest of the hip world gets their ideas from Pinterest, I am still reading magazines to gather some inspiration. I never overlook the value of a good craft find in Better Homes and Gardens. It's really just another sign that I am getting old. In my defense, Better Homes and Gardens publishes some great ideas and even has a monthly highlight of one of the up-and-coming DIY blogs out there.
I guess that doesn't make me that old.

These Halloween treats were just to cute to pass up. Here is the step-by-step guide - broken down into 5 easy steps (because I'm usually intimidated by any project that requires more than 5 steps or involves pages and pages of directions):

1. Prepare any flavor cake mix according to the package directions (I used traditional vanilla cake mix). Cool, then remove cake from pan and crumble into a large bowl. Add one cup of frosting (homemade or store-bought). Beat with a mixer on low speed to combine.

2. Roll into 1 to 11/2 inch balls.

3. Melt an ounce of vanilla candy coating in the microwave. (These are the little wafer-like chocolates that you can purchase at Michael's or A.C. Moore.) Dip one end of the pop stick in the candy coating, then carefully push into the cake ball. Repeat. Freeze one hour to set.

4. Melt about 2 lbs. of vanilla candy coating in the microwave - stirring occasionally to melt. Dip pops into the coating.

5. While the coating is still soft, create creatures with chocolate chips (or anything else you desire). I stuck with the ghosts - the other options were a cute, but complicated.

Now the real trick in creating these cool pops, is keeping your 2-year old lion away from them. A few little ghouls didn't quite make it to our neighborhood Halloween parade...

And this poor little polar bear is wondering when he will be able to enjoy these treats.

Next year buddy.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Simple stitches

2011-10-17T19:57:00.000-07:00

My project list keeps growing, but I have come to terms with the fact that I can only perform very simple tasks at this point in my life. The pillows and curtains have taken a back seat to bows and onesies. I need predictable projects. Ones that take less than an hour, ones that I can leave and come back to, ones that don't require dangerous tools (yes, I've had to put away my chain saw, but I do have one great project post coming up that does include some major cutting), and ones that serve a daily functional purpose. Here are some of my latest - inspired by the ongoing 2011 baby boom (which has involved the birth of about 10 boys and only 2 girls in our circle of friends). I've had to get creative in the onesie department to tone down the frills and make them boy-worthy. A simple name is always a good option that again optimizes my love for personalization. If it were up to me, all clothing would be monogrammed. It's like my secret wish that all of life was really a musical and we could break out into song on a whim.

Austin and Charlie were my recent models...

Baby Ryan has just entered the world and will soon grow into his onesie.

And if you see Julia on a typical day, you will most likely see her with her hair in her face. She has the cutest haircut (which she is quite proud of), but her bangs just haven't figured out how to grow themselves out. For the amount of bows that I have made this child, one might think that she should be all set, but she typically pulls them out in moments of frustration or just for the heck of it. The 'hair in the face' look is her signature style. Here is a rare moment when she is put together:

This bow is adorable and so easy to make. I drew from a few bow designs on this Prudent Baby post. For those of you just learning how to sew, this is a great one.

Sorry to ruin the surprise, but for anyone close to me, this is likely your baby gift if you are expecting in the near future :)

it figures...

2011-10-12T09:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday will go down in history as the most productive day as a mother of 2. I had a beautiful, "I can do this" moment as I was sitting down on the couch feeding Charlie, with a meal simmering on the stove, trying to look up another recipe for an easy dinner to freeze, with laundry in the washer, and two projects drying on the kitchen table. This sense of awe over this accomplishment is magnified by the fact that we were just away for the week - out of our element in the wonderful state of Florida with my family. We made so many preparations for this trip, but as many parents know, the best of preparations do not quite prepare you for the unexpected potential of 2 little ones.

Well, traveling was seemless. Julia did great when she hunkered down with a DVD player and Charlie opted to sleep through the whole traveling ordeal. Florida was amazing. I couldn't have asked for anything more than time with my family! We prepared dinners everynight, indulged in Julia's daily request for time on the beach, took Charlie in the ocean for the first time, and Charles and I even had some time together and stole away to a beach bar (or 2). This may sound like a naiive statement, but I never thought that I was capable of feeling so much like a fun adult at this stage of parenthood. So, we are home, unpacked, and ahead of our game.

I can just hear the announcer:

"...and the parents swing into the lead!"

I will run the bases slowly and relish this pull ahead from behind.

Next week I return to work. Maternity leave is over. Ugh, just when I felt like I was on top of things.
Once again we will teeter on the brink of trying juggle priorities while managing a busy schedule. Sometimes I feel like just when I am at the end of my "to do" list, it starts all over again. In the end, I just have to remind myself that productive days are a luxury. We are all happy...most of the time, everyone is fed and content...pretty much always, the housework will get done...at some point, I don't need to run away with the lead on this one :)

Here are some snapshots of our week in Florida. Since we had a newborn this summer, this vacation was our mini summer all rolled up into one week. Well worth the wait!

On our time.

2011-10-06T20:47:00.000-07:00

It's here. Several months late, but it made it to production. It's the Gray-year - the one that spans from June to June (conveniently, since every great event in our marriage seems to occur within a 4 week span between June and July). I started a baby book for Julia, but after filling in the "firsts" and carefully noting every step in her development that I could possibly come up with, (yes, I have even documented her first scraped knee), the baby book is bursting at the seems. I needed a new outlet to capture this phase of our lives. This blog does just that. It provides those little snapshots of our lives that never make the cut for the baby book, but are never-the-less greatly important. This sums up the ups and downs of our life - it captures our learning curve, celebrates our minor victories (major in our minds), provides us an opportunity to look back and recognize where we were days, months, weeks ago and helps us to always remember the greatness found in those moments.

I decided to put it to print so that each year is bound and available for review. My Publisher has a free publishing program to create your own book. The software is free for download and once you create your design, the albums are great quality and very reasonably priced! Every summer I take the blog, cut and paste pieces of the posts, add some pictures, and create a sum up of our year. I honestly usually do this at the last minute - usually putting in hours and hours to finish at 11:59pm when the midnight MyPublisher discount is about to end.

But it's here! Year TWO of this endeavor.

For those of you who also have a blog or for those who find yourself occasionally jotting down milestones, but aren't really sure what to do with it, these albums a another great way to categorize these precious events. For me, there are many things that never make it to print - letters for Julia on her first birthday, notes from her babysitter that discuss her cute ways of letting us know that she is ready for potty training, thoughts to Charlie before his arrival...and then there are the recipes and silly little things from the blog that don't quite need republishing. These yearly books capture everything in between. Here you go - a little view of year two.

And a happy new year to come! :)

Save yourself :)

2011-09-26T10:58:00.000-07:00

Lately I have found myself repeating the same thing over and over again in my head. Maybe I should back up a little bit...I just wrote in a previous post about the guilt-factor that is somehow gifted to every new mother. I try to fight it, but I feel it all of the time. I feel guilty about the craziest things. I feel guilty when my children are in their car seats for too long. Even if they are perfectly content, I somehow imagine that their little bodies aren't getting enough room to grow when they're cooped up for a long time (crazy, I know.) I feel guilty when someone takes care of Julia so that I can get a few things done around the house. It's that crazy belief from the 1950's that a "good mother" should be able to balance all things...but I have yet to find a balance that involves a 2-year old and bathroom cleaning chemicals. I feel guilty when I have to run errands for myself, I worry that my daughter eats too much sugar, I feel guilty for feeling guilty. Ugh.

I don't know how this mantra started, but one day it was playing in my head. And the next day I said it a few more times. And somehow it has evolved to make me smile whenever the guilt-factor arises. This little saying was ingrained in my head from a young age since we traveled quite a bit. Who ever pays attention to the flight attendant's announcements? I always did. I was fascinated by the issue involving the overhead mask if the plane should happen to lose pressure:

"In the event of an emergency, please assist yourself before assisting the child next to you."

I never quite understood that phrase before. I assumed that it meant that the adults were selfishly more important. Now I realize that without the adults taking action, the kids wouldn't make it. So there it is. It reminds me to grab a sandwich before I feed Charlie even if he is screaming, it is the reason why I put Julia in the shower with me in order to contain her and assure that I will actually get that essential time in the morning, and it helps me remember that the house won't burn down if I take 30 minutes to myself to go for a run. Heck, maybe everyone will be a little more at peace if I go and get a pedicure :) The bottom line: if I take care of myself, I can better care for my kids. It's not rocket science, but it's not easy to remember all of the time either.

This weekend I miraculously finished a 5k with some other great mothers. All of our children survived the training for this event. Whether it is acknowledged or not, we recognize that taking care of yourself makes you a better mom in the end.

Julia agrees...

most of the time.

And Charlie continues to go with the flow :)

....and still growing

2011-09-21T07:52:00.000-07:00

I don't know why I'm so surprised by how much Charlie is growing. I have done this one time before. I know how this happens. One moment they are helpless and the next moment they are saying, "Well, actually..." as Julia has started reminding me when I am not consistent.

It is easy to enjoy every moment. Charlie continues to make us smile everyday with his unending happiness (yes, he even laughs in his sleep!) I can't believe it has only been 10 weeks and then again, I can't imagine our lives any different.

5 weeks

6 weeks

7 weeks

8 weeks

9 weeks

10 weeks

Books and a blog

2011-09-19T06:56:00.000-07:00

Ahh, luxury of luxuries, I read a book.

Not just any book.

I was able to move beyond The Going to Bed Book and Fancy Nancy to read a big girl book. I was on the hunt for a good one for our trip to Maine. If I was going to spend those precious hours engrossed in a book, it had to be worth my time. I have many half-hearted attempts by my nightstand that never made the cut. A good book has to withstand numerous interruptions and almost a magnetic force to keep me involved.

I left for Maine dissappointed that despite trips to the library and Barnes & Noble, I just couldn't find anything that was Maine-worthy and engrossing enough to take my attention away from my constant "mom" state for a while. Then it happened, this book literally fell into my lap. We stopped at a farmstand in Freeport, ME just 10 minutes from the cottage. We had driven off the beaten path to pick up some fresh produce for dinner. In the corner of this little shanty was a stack of cookbooks and this book:

I had acually been looking for this book after reading a review in a magazine, but couldn't find it. The fact that it takes place on the coast of Maine conveniently sold me as I would be reading it while relaxing by these same cold waters. This Life is in Your Hands is a wonderful true story about a family who abandons their everyday luxuries in order to homestead, which means they are completely dependant on farming the land for their everyday needs. It is the story of how they maintained this lifestyle and it's peppered with real life tragedy as well as the reality that this escape to be self-sufficient is not an escape from heart-ache.

The only disappointing part was the fact that I flew through this book and again had to begin the search for my next read. I have been craving something inspiring. Something that can keep me grounded in the midst of what feels like such a busy and crazy time in our lives.

I found it.

One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp is a reminder and a challenge to find joy and gratitude in life - the daily reminders that we often overlook. It is truly grounding to read a book like this. My mind is constantly checking off lists and looking forward in an effort to acheive some sort of readiness for what is next. It is difficult to bask in what is right in front of you when you are busy looking beyond it. It is really the simple things that make our lives great. This book is a perfect tool to remain reminded of the overwhelming blessings found in these moments and beyond:

"Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world."

-Sarah Ban Breathnach from "One Thousand Gifts"

The truth is, I am drawn more and more to the simple things. This Life is in Your Hands was nowhere near a call to leave for Northern Maine and try out homesteading, but in many ways this couple had the gift of creating a new meaning of life for their family without "stuff". One Thousand Gifts further fuels this desire toward simplicity and adds a much needed demension of the grace and abundance that is found here. As a consumer, we are constanty innundated with the things we "need" in this world. The irony is that the "it" thing is constantly changing and it is a game to keep up with the latest. I've found that as a mother, the guilt factor is added in and I typically feel as though my child will not acheive an imaginary developmental level if I don't keep up. I feel like I come up short in my desire to run from the pull of daily life. It is nice to escape from all of these demands for a little bit. Curling up to a good book has been a great way to do this and it's even better to find something that challenges you regroup and rethink.

My friend Laura has a similar vision to enjoy simplicity in the little things. She has started a great website with her friends, called plant. eat. create., which highlights very simple ways to enjoy each of these elements. I always tell her that I feel inspired when I spend a bit of time with her. This inspiration will likely rub off when you check out her blog.

home.

2011-09-14T18:53:00.000-07:00

Ah, home

Let me go home
Home is wherever I'm with you.
-Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros

I can just imagine Julia and my dad singing this song in the above picture. It's a song that makes me smile whenever I hear it. It makes me want to drive the country roads of my hometown with the window down. That's exactly what I did this weekend when I made the trip to Pennsylvania. After a long day at the Arts Festival, I took Julia and Charlie to my friend Becca's house, which was a wonderful trek along the roads that lead to my childhood home.  Since miraculously, both kids were sound asleep in their carseats, I decided to take a little detour to travel past my old house. During the day I'd had the great opportunity to gather in Wilmington with some of our greatest friends and as I drove along I was able to reflect on the people that have walked this road with us. Having a child will do this to you - thrust you into this constant state of nostalgia...that's where I am right now (bear with me).
The interesting thing is the fact that on his first trip south, Charlie is seeing this from a whole different perspective. This isn't home for Charlie or Julia. They were both born in Springfield, Massachusetts. No matter where life takes them, Massachusetts will always be where it all started. No matter how much I tell them, they will always see things starting from the time they were born. The hard part of retelling this story for them is the fact that someone new lives in that house on the hill in Landenberg, the horses are on another farm, my elementary school, the place where I met my best friends is now a Charter school. Even Happy Acres, the old hometown restaurant has changed hands a few times and is now an Italian restaurant. I didn't frequent Happy Acres very often, but somehow I miss it.   Then I realized that this reality of change is true whether I lived in Chester County or Massachusetts. Though many of my friends have the privledge of living in their hometown, life changes. It will be a whole new experience for our children.
So on the way home, I told the kids (Julia, since she may be able to retain some minscule amount of information and Charlie, because he is a captive audience and has a face that looks like it's in a constant state of wonder) about each and every meaningful and mundane spot along our route. They will always know how special this place is to me.
The greatest part about all of this brings me back to the lyrics of my favorite song. Thank God I have changed since my school days :), we all have. My friends have their own families, my family has evolved from moves up, down and around the US and our surrounding are constantly changing. There are few constants in life and so I have found "home" in the people that mean the most to us. They are home no matter where we are.   I see this now as Julia embraces the people who mean the most to her. I may innundate her with stories about growing up and what has been special to me throughout my life, but ultimately she will create her own meaning. We all crave the familiar from time to time - I wonder what places my children will hold dear to their hearts and return to when they need a "home" fix.   Even though they won't grow up in Chester County, my secret wish is that they will run along the trails of the Brandywine preserve, find their way to the river and feel as though this is a magical place embedded into their own childhood as it was in mine.
This was our first of many trips to Pennsylvania for Charlie. Thank you to everyone who made it special and thank you for being part of these special memories for all of us!
It's nice to be home.

favorite things (reprise)

2011-09-06T14:40:00.000-07:00

I always write about my favorite tools - the gadgets that make life easier. From muffins to my baby Boba carrier, I often find myself going on and on and on to new moms about the quirky essentials that make daily life as a parent a little bit easier. Since we've been somewhat homebound (it takes a lot of energy to confidently take my fragile newborn and two year old who is like a volcano waiting to erupt out on my own), I realize how much of our day is spent doing the mundane. Maybe it was our trip to Maine, where we packed our car to the brim, but really only used a quarter of what we brought or maybe it was this morning when both of my children were in diapers and found great joy in each other's smile - I have come to the realization that some of my favorite things lately are not things. They are moments.

Here are the favorites of the week:

Things have gotten better. There is no real measure for how or why or what has changed. It's just better. We're getting this whole "2 children" thing figured out.
After a fun day with friends yesterday, Julia sat quietly in her carseat on the way home and sweetly announced, "I feel happy mommy and daddy! This was a good day!"
Charlie continues to insist that his favorite sleeping position is on the chest of the person holding him. It makes for some unending priceless moments of snuggling with him.
We are reminded daily of the wonderful community of friends surrounding us with encouragement and some good old fashioned help every now and then (like storing breastmilk in their freezer after the hurricane came through and mowing our lawn while we were away). They also serve the important role of normalizing all of our crazy moments!
Nothing puts a smile on Charlie's face like the presence of his sister. There are few places that Julia would rather be than right by his side! I could say this over and over again, but I am in awe of their relationship already!
Julia has mastered the big girl bed. It was like slaying a dragon. We are all quite proud of ourselves that nobody was hurt during this process! Now bring on the next challenge - we are armed and ready!

It's nice to write these down as I realize how quickly we forget these moments...and how quickly the things can turn sour :) It is even better to have some of them captured on camera.

The following pictures were taken last month by my best friend - she's a pretty amazing photographer and even more amazing friend!

"Sitting there in your pajamas & all the time in the world & if I could keep any moment it would be this: watching you & holding my breath with the wonder of it all."

- Brian Andreas

"Maine. The way life should be."

2011-09-04T20:46:00.000-07:00

Everyone has their points in life they can set their compass to. Whether it is a certain place or time, it serves as a constant. It's the point at which you can take inventory of the rest of the world and measure what has changed. For me, this point is Maine.

We've taken this yearly trip around Labor Day for the past four years for the simple purpose of relaxing. Maine is certainly the place to accoplish this goal. We have a limited agenda and a Gray vacation motto of "anything is fair game", which means we can stop wherever we want, eat whatever we want, and change the plan at a moment's notice. It's tough to have a strict agenda in Maine. It seems as though all of that goes out the window as soon as you cross the border from New Hampshire into this great state. Once we drive over the bridge, everything feels lighter.

Our vacation this year was just like every other, relaxing and rejouvenating-filled with daily trips to the local farmstand, a lobster a day (for Chas), walks and runs around Mere Point, a few good books, and drives along back roads filled with talks about what we would do if we had a house on the coast. It was also different this year. It was different in the obvious ways. We added a new member to the mix - Charlie had his first taste of the salt air. Julia was able to enjoy things from a different perspective. It was also different in much more subtle ways. Our lives have changed drastically from that first family trip four year ago. We were newleyweds then. We spent every day kayaking and discovering new adventures. Little did we know, the next year Julia would be present in our lives, which added a new twist to this get-away. Relaxing on vacation took on a greater priority. Our time became less defined and we were just as content to spend our time on the dock. It may have been less adventurous perhaps, but more exciting. The next year Julia was growing and learning. The whole trip seemed dedicated to teaching her everything there was to know about Maine. She learned how to eat corn on the cob and touched a lobster for the first time. She heard all of Charles' adventures as he grew up vacationing in Maine. This year was filled with a bit more of this as she is so excited to soak in the world around her. She took her first dip in the cold Maine waters and loved every moment of it. Charlie is becoming so alert and aware of his surroundings.

Every once in a while, Charles and I look at each other and smile. We use this place as a point of reference. Our lives have changed so much over the years. In some ways I miss that first year, though I know there will be plenty of adventures to be had on the coast of Maine. I love this place in our lives. There is excitement in knowing that there is so much to look forward to. At times like this, we are reminded to slow down and enjoy these milestones.

2008

2009

2010

2011

sooo big!

2011-08-25T18:59:00.000-07:00

Yep, you've caught me, I'm growing!

Charlie had his one month appointment today. He was 2 weeks behind the curve ball on this one because they couldn't fit it in any sooner (that makes him 6 weeks for all of you math fans). I'm not reallly sure where he falls percentage-wise and I know it doesn't really matter, but when they are so little it is reassuring to see that they are on target. Wouldn't it be so much easier if they could just tell you, "yes, mom, I'm getting everything I need and I am very content!"? So I relied on the pediatrician's bill of health and grand remarks about how well he's doing. I'm such a new mom - worried about the littlest things that won't really matter in a few days. Charlie is fine and growing quite well. I learned that there is no such thing as a baby sleeping too much, we should just consider ourselves lucky. Whew, we really did luck out on that one!

So he is now 10lbs 6oz and 22 1/2 inches long. That's quite a spurt over the past six weeks buddy!

Now, to put away his newborn clothes...

we are here

2011-08-24T19:38:00.000-07:00

We are in that place again. That place in life when my days are so full, yet I don't know what I actually did. The place where multitasking is an understatement as I am constantly juggling about 6 tasks at one time, though I am lucky if I can actually see one of those to completion. The place where I literally feel like I am working backwards as my "to do" list grows longer with every movement within the house. I find myself not only challenged with the tasks at hand, but also with a million things on my mind. This is a place that I am sure all parents come to at some point, the place where you wonder which way is up.

I feel like I have a pretty good handle on it. It helps to have a vacation to look forward to and many moments of "recollecting" throughout the day. My "to do" list from the morning gets thrown away and rewritten by noon as the priorities of the day change at a moment's notice. Although there is nothing major happening in our home, you might think that we were working on some huge project in this house based on the amount of physical and emotional energy that it takes to keep it running.

Well, we are. We have embarked on the journey of potty training and introducing a "big girl" bed for Julia.

Yes, at the same time.

Yes, we have had enough changes for one summer.

Yes, we're crazy.

No, I would not say it's going well.

This has been a crazy mix of a bunch of coincidences that have brought us to this point. Most of this involves the fact that I have a child who is going to do things on her own time. This is how she wants to do it.

Some days I wonder who has the control in this parent-child relationship. It is something that we have to address often (and in the most gentle matter) to maintain any kind of structure around here. This summer has truly be one of transformation for Julia as she is growing a ton. She is still a baby and yet such a little girl. Having a newborn magnifies this transformation. Charlie is completely reliant on us. Julia is dependant for one task and then wants to be 100% independant for the next one. These are tough shifts from moment to moment and they keep me on my toes! I have to constantly take inventory of what's going on, what is really important about the situation, and what needs to be addressed. It is so much easier when I called the shots and she needed us a whole lot more. It is also completely humbling.

This is parenting. This is what it's all about. Providing the guidance and love that she needs to work her way through this world. God has entrusted me with a feisty one! There are days that I wonder if I am truly equipped to keep up with her and then I realize that with a little bit of structure, a whole lot of love, tons of prayer, and the ability to laugh at ourselves, we are okay.

Oh, and don't worry about Charlie, he's slept through the whole thing.

the greatest gift

2011-08-14T19:56:00.000-07:00

When you have your first baby you are innundated with piles upon piles of "stuff" needed to keep a child going and growing. Most of it I was hesitant to keep and I thought we could get by without too many oversized plastic contraptions with toys attached to them. I quickly learned that they are essential. The good news? We are all set with our contraptions. We have what we need this time around. The better news? It opens up this whole new world for friends and family to provide for other needs. In the past month we have had some of the best home cooked meals, most wonderful quality time with others, and random chores done around our house. All of these amount to one of the greatest gifts that anyone can give: the simple gift of time. Whether our friends have had 20 minutes to entertain Julia while I grab a quick a shower, an hour to whip up a quick meal, or 3 days to come up for a much needed visit, it has meant the world to us.

For the past 4 weeks we have been blessed with some wonderful visitors who were not only able to meet Charlie, but also able to share in one of the most exciting times in our lives. Spending more than a few hours with a family adjusting to a newborn can be an interesting experiment. This experiment is not for the faint of heart and it involves a great deal of transparency into the real life working of our family in the midst of sleep deprivation and moments of complete uncertainty of how to handle a newborn. In our case, our friends and family witnessed the fact that although I am up at 5am, not much gets accomplished before noon, they witnessed a 2 year old who loves the attention and definitely knows how to get it, during week 2 our visitors were able to see a raw moment that involved a trip to the ER for Julia, week 3 got better, but those visitors saw that Julia was having a harder time saying good-bye to the people she loves. By the end of this month, our friends and family had enough material on us to write a "what to do/what not to do" book about parenting. We are thankful that each of you have hung in there with us, stayed up until the wee hours of the morning with me, loved on Julia a little bit more, and cherished some of those newborn snuggles with Charlie.

People often say that they don't always know how to be helpful. In my case, I have had many moments of feeling so overwhelmed that I don't know how to articulate what I need. Despite this all of the important things have been addressed and I have learned that just the presence of others has been beyond valuable to us.

And for that, we thank you.

Week 1 - 2 whole visits from Chrissy (and baby V)!

Week 2 - Charlie spent 3 whole days in the arms of his Babci and mommom. He was so spoiled that he now can't stand to be put down!

Mimi wins the award for the most visits, the prime witness to most of our frantic moments, and the very special honor of being present for his arrival. Thank you mom and dad- we don't know what we would do without you!

Bec, Zoe Zoe and Ben hung in there for a busy weekend.
Zoey came at the perfect time - Julia really needed a friend.
And so did I. Thanks Bec!

Aunt Kirstan finally arrived! Julia was so excited to see Aunt "cookie", but was disappointed that we weren't going to the beach. Kirstan gets the best of all worlds because she is their only aunt...the favorite one that spoils the heck out of them.

And Jilly and Kris rounded out our visits this month. They added the fun element, which Julia loved. I'm sure there will be many more visits to come, but when they left, it felt extra lonely around here.

Wow, what a month!

August 13th - 1 month old!

So I have learned a lot from this past month. It seems strange to think that I will reenter the world and have some free time :), but when I do, I realize that gifts don't have to be neatly packaged. Sometimes it's just listening and offering advice, bringing a sleep deprived family a Starbucks treat, making some homecooked goodness to share, or offering to hold a baby to allow a new mom the luxury of a few moments to herself. Anyway you share it, I promise, it will be greater than anything you can buy!

1...2...3...4

2011-08-10T08:31:00.000-07:00

I love when a child is so new that you measure the time in weeks. Everything is so pure and uncharted. It gives you this whole new perspective on how much they are growing when you can actually see the changes from day to day. It is refreshing to celebrate these little acheivements and think about how far we've come each week. Every morning I look at him and marvel at how much he has changed and little by little we say good-bye to the newborn stage as we see this little one emerge. This realization is met with a tiny bit of hesitation as I just want to bask in the newness of it all, but also thrilling as we get to see Charlie's personality. He is every bit as laid back as he was on day one. He is content with his world and in awe of watching his big sister. His presence makes everyone around him feel at peace. I can't help but wonder how these elements of his personality will translate as he gets older.

So our little boy is 4 whole weeks old today - here is the weekly count:

1...

2...

3...

This I know.

2011-08-03T06:16:00.000-07:00

A shout out to all 3 week olds!

I'm not really sure what day it is, I have lost all track of time. I'm not quite certain when I can stop changing my spit up covered outfits each day and when the permanent smell of sour milk will stop following me around. I'm embarrassed to say that I don't remember what happened between the 1am and 4am feeding and how we managed to survive sleeping together on the couch with Charlie remaining in one place. I'm realizing how much I've forgotten in the two years since we introduced a newborn to our home and I have learned to just take this all as a new experience.

At the same time, there are some things that I am quite certain about. I am beyond confident that I love every moment of this. From the frantic moments when every member of this house is crying to the tender moments of Charlie sleeping on my chest. I feel much more secure in knowing who I am as a mother - what to worry about and what to let go of. It is a more peaceful experience this way. I also know the little things that I didn't the first time around, like how soothe him, the importance of sneaking in some time to rest and avoid overdoing it in the beginning. (I know these things and I am trying really hard to put them into practice, though if I find a mother that has perfected this, I'd like to know her secret!)

And all sentimental things aside, the one important thing that is most overlooked is how hungry you are when you are breastfeeding. Seriously, nobody told me this. I though that I must have some mysterious tapeworm in those first few weeks with Julia. This time around, I decided to equip myself with the essential components of any breastfeeding mother's (or postpartum mother in general) kitchen: protein and easy accessible snacks. Hummus is a favorite in our house. Despite the frenzy in our home, I am probably making a new batch of hummus every 3 days here. I use this recipe from Cooking Light. It is pretty easy - just throw it all together and blend (I usually add cumin too).
The other "regular" in our kitchen are a good batch of muffins. Not just any muffins. I call them breastfeeding muffins. No, they're not made with breastmilk, but they are made with a combination of all of the great ingredients that keep me full for more than 10 minutes. The secret? They're made with ricotta, which packs in the protein and makes them super moist and chewy. These muffins are the best ever. You don't have to be a breastfeeding mother to enjoy these (yes, you can change the name)! Julia loves them and we have had them on hand for our many visitors passing through - all agree that they are quite delicious. If you know a new mom and want to bake something for the family, this recipe is a good option!

Here you go:

Peach-Vanilla Ricotta Muffins
(AKA - Breastfeeding Muffins)
from Molly Katzen's Sunlight Cafe - Moosewood Cookbook

a great cookbook!

2 cups unbleached alll-purpose flour

1/2 tsp salt

1 1/2 tsp baking powder

1/8 tsp baking soda

1 Tblsp grated lemon zest

1/2 to 2/3 cup sugar

1 cup ricotta cheese

1 cup buttermilk

2 large eggs

1 Tblsp fresh lemon juice

1 Tblsp plus 1/2 tsp vanilla extract

1/2 stick unsalted butter (melted)

1/2 cups fresh peaches diced (you can use any fruit)

1. Preheat oven to 350, lightly spray muffin tin.

2. Combine flour, salt, baking powder, baking soda, lemon zest and sugar in a medium bowl

3. Place th ricotta in a second medium sized bowl and beat in the buttermilk. Add the eggs one at a time, beating well with a whisk after each addition. Whisk in the lemon juice and vanilla.

4. Pour the ricotta mixture, along with the melted butter and the peaches in to the dry ingredients. Using a spatula, stir from the bottom until the dry ingredients are moistened (do not overmix).

5. Spoon the batter into the muffin cups - usually makes about 12 large muffins.

6. Bake for 20-25 minutes or until lightly browned on top. Remove the pan from the oven , then remove each muffin and place on a cooling rack. Wait 30 minutes before serving.

**Enjoy!**

Happy 3 weeks Charlie-bear! I can hardly keep up with your growing self!

Homecoming outfits

2011-07-27T13:00:00.000-07:00

This was a great "preparation for baby" project that helped me focus my attention on a gift for Julia and special little outfit for each of them to wear as we transitioned home from the hospital. It did not fully work out as intended as the onesie that I made for Charlie is way too big for him and I forgot to put the dress on Julia with all of the activity of leaving the hospital.

Surprise! Surprise! - yet another lesson that the more children you add to the mix, the less likely things will go as planned. Regardless, neither one of them noticed and Julia has since modeled her new dress for all to see. When she wears it, she also announces, "BIG SISTER" with her fists in the air. Once Charlie puts a little weight on, we can have them pose in their outfits together.

Despite his inability to fit into his outfit, I believe that he has felt very welcomed since his homecoming! He has had a flurry of visitors - his very own welcoming crew, which has been ~~so helpful~~ beyond essential!

The BIG SISTER award

2011-07-24T09:21:00.000-07:00

"LOVE IS ALIVE!"
- The Judds

In the last post I wrote that love has multiplied in our home. As I thought about that statement, I realize how true it really is. Not only have we opened a new place in our hearts for this tiny boy, but we have opened ourselves up to love in a new way within our family. My love for my husband has grown as I watch him take on a million different roles while I focus on Charlie. His relationship with Julia has always been precious and hands on, but they have changed together over the past couple of weeks as he has spent a great deal of one-on-one time with her. She has his individual attention and she is well aware of this. She is now crying for "daddy" when she is upset, which is a reflection of this shift. In some ways I am craving more time with her, but I am also acutely aware of the need for their time together.
The other transformation that I have seen since Charlie's arrival is Julia's love for her little brother. I love Julia in so many ways, but to see her as a big sister is absolutely heartwarming. She is a nurturer, she loves him and describes it in the most precious toddler-like ways like, "ohh, he's so cute" and "I love him so much!". She always says "he's so little!" and she loves to be helpful when he is crying or needs something. She has always had these nurturing qualities (we call her the aggressive nurturer as she often gets a bit overly demonstrative with her hugs), but having a brother allows her a lifelong ticket in this role as big sister. There is nothing like having a sibling to share your childhood (and beyond) with. I think about my relationship with my sister and I can't imagine my life without her. She understands me like nobody else in the world and I cherish her advice and support in my daily life even when she's miles away. What a gift to watch their relationship unfold!

In reality, Julia has spent more time in time-out in the last 10 days than she had in the previous 10 weeks, which is a reflection of her strong grip on the need for attention during this transition. It has been helpful to hear that this will get better and we are doing all of the right things to make sure that she feels part of these changes. Despite these attention seekng behaviors, we have had some of the sweetest moments together as a family. This morning Julia, Charles and I danced to our wedding song (Pachelbel Canon in D), which plays on Charlie's bouncer seat as he sat and "watched" us. Julia loved this! It was a striking reminder of how much our lives and our love has evolved since I walked down the aisle to that song on our wedding day 4 years ago.

So here's to a GREAT big sister, who I'm sure feels a little bit slighted with the new arrival in our home, but at the same time is about to embark on one of the greatest adventures of her life as role model to this wonderful little boy!

We are so proud of you Julia Claire!

Our first week

2011-07-21T11:22:00.000-07:00

Charlie woke up for a middle of the night feeding at promptly 2:36am on Wednesday morning. What better way to celebrate his one week birthday than with a late night milk-fest between mommy and baby?

Call it lack of sleep or the haze of being on cloud nine since Charlie's arrival, but I'm not feeling very profound. I have so many thoughts about this first week, but they don't seem to translate into words. I do believe that experiencing the birth of your child does enter into that realm of not being able to find the right words to describe it. We are still adjusting and I assume that we will be for a very long time. We have had a ton of help and I wonder how Charles and I will be able to balance this on our own. I have learned that life with a newborn is not the hard part - it gets tough when you throw a toddler into that equation! I have also learned that breastfeeding does not necessarily get easier the second time around, but at least you know that there is an end in sight to the initial pain and discomfort. This time around, I can get through the tough part with the anticipation of this next year of precious bonding time. Though I hadn't given a whole lot of thought to the age-old question, "How could I possibly love this child as much as my daughter?", I have definitely learned that the moment I laid eyes on Charlie it was never a second thought.
Love has multiplied in our home! (Julia's love for her brother needs a little containing, but is very cute!) We have learned so much from this little guy already and are excited to continue to grow together as a family!

Charlie's arrival

2011-07-17T10:19:00.000-07:00

I thought I should write about Charlie's arrival while it is still fresh in my mind. There is so much happening in the beginning...so much to store away for later or cherished among my husband and I, but there is also so much that I want to remember before it gets lost in these other details as we get accustomed to life as a family of four. I will spare each of the details, but wanted to just share his awesome entry into the world.
On July 12th we went in for our weekly appointment. I told the midwife that I was hoping that the baby would make his arrival in the next few days. She gave us some insight into the "natural" ways of inducing labor and assured us that she thought he would be coming within the next few days based on the fact that I was 3cm dilated (though I had been for over a week). As she was leaving the exam room, she patted my belly and said that the real trick to starting the labor process was the "touch of a midwife". Little did I know, that just might have been the trick :)

I went on to have one of the busiest days at work that I'd ever encountered, which left me little time to think about when this baby might choose to make his arrival. When I came home from work, my husband, mom and I decided to get some Chinese food to help jump start things. We went to Charles' parents house and Charles took Julia for a swim while my mom went to get the food. I remember thinking that I hoped that it wouldn't happen anytime soon because I wouldn't want my "last meal" to be curry chicken. As we were watching Julia swim, I started noticing the contractions. I say "noticing" because I had been having contractions on and off for about a week and a half. I started timing them in my head and began to realize that I was really uncomfortable every 2 minutes. I could no longer concentrate on anything else going on around me. By the time my mom had arrived with the food, I was really uncomfortable and pacing through my in-laws house. Interestingly, everyone else around me thought that this was a great time to enjoy their Chinese food while I was wondering if I was even going to make it to the hospital. Finally, my mom brought me back to our house while Charles packed up Julia. Throughout that 45 minute stretch I was so intent on having Charles time my contractions, but by the time we were organized enough to do this, we realized that they were every 1 1/2 to 2 min and this meant we should probably head to the hospital. Charles pulled the car around to the front of our house and I proceeded to have a contraction that brought me to my knees in the front lawn. In that moment I found it hard to believe that I was going to be able to sit in a car for the 25 minute drive to the hospital. The grass felt like a perfectly good option. We have this great image of me in the front lawn and Charles trying to coax me into the car. Finally, he gave up and decided to take a few pictures. I told him that this would be the last of any "labor" pictures and finally worked up the strength to get into the car. The next 3 hours feel like a blur. We made it to the hospital and had to wait to get evaluated. We were finally rushed in after a nurse observed how quickly the contractions were coming. I labored in a random room for an hour before we could be admitted to be monitored. I remember asking the nurse if this baby would hold out until his due date, the 13th (at that point it was about 9pm on the 12th) and she nicely responded that this baby was obviously going to do whatever the heck he pleased. She thought that he was going to come pretty quickly. We were able to finally secure a bed in Labor and Delivery after a few hours of winging it in the evaluation unit and I was beyond relieved. After about 4 hours of active labor I opted for an epidural, though it didn't take effect. After a great deal of debate, an hour later, I recieved a 2nd epidural. I wish I would have discussed this more with the midwife because at that point things really slowed down and I lost touch with the process of labor. As painful as it was, I could at least take an active role in what was happening. It is much easier to make that assessment when you are not in those active throws of labor and so I can't be too disappointed. After some time, the midwife came in, announced that I was 10cm and he literally was delivered within those 4 minutes of my water breaking. My precious little boy literally came flying into the world!

I remember having a conversation with a friend who discussed being in the moment and enjoying the process of her child's birth. I was conscious of this desire to take in every part of labor and I recall saying several times throughout labor, "I can't believe that this is happening." Once he arrived, it seemed like time stopped for a while. The room was a buzz, but I just remember soaking in every sound and surveying every ounce of this new life. I loved announcing his name as Charles held him and feeling this great sense that it fit him from the very start. We loved him during the pregnancy, but seeing him solidified this overwhelming love that I have only encountered when Julia arrived.
Charlie's birth was so different from Julia's. Since the moment that he was born, there is a greater sense of certainty that everything is okay in the world. Things may be uncomfortable, but everything feels a bit more natural. He is so content and when he is awake he looks around with these curious, deep eyes. He makes it easy to relax in his presence. I would have to say that this is a great quality in a baby!
And as much as labor can feel like a blur, I realize already that the first few days are an even bigger blur of activity and visitors and adjustments. We documented on video the moment that Julia met him. She confidently walked in the room with her hands in her pockets and stopped next to the bed. She was initially a bit overwhelmed, but about 10 minutes later was teaching him songs and wanted to tickle him. She has adopted her baby brother into every part of her day and talks about him non-stop. She wants to see him as soon as she walks in the room and is anxious to hold him with some help. We opted to come home on Thursday the 14th, which was about 30 hours after Charlie's arrival (as soon as we possibly could!). Julia had come in that morning, but was home having lunch when we pulled up to the house. She came running down the walkway and proudly yelled, "Happy Mother's Day!" Yes, it does feel like mother's day, what a great way to capture the joy of bringing home a new baby.
Here are a few pictures of these moments throughout our first few days with Charlie. We are excited for our family and friends from near and far to meet this little one!

July 12, 2011 - our last appointment

8 hours later - the one and only labor picture

And a whole lot happened in the 6 hours between thse two photos, but he's fnally here!

Proud Mimi

Big sister's first meeting

Julia, Charlie, and their Grandpa

First photo as a family of 4 (5 including Scout)

�

Happy unofficial Mother's Day :)

HE IS HERE!

2011-07-14T18:45:00.000-07:00

Charles Ethan Gray

"Charlie"

born July 13th 2011 at 2:36am

6lbs, 14 oz

18 3/4 inches long.

Our little peanut.

Julia has embraced big sisterhood from the very beginning. She wants to touch him constantly and wants to know where he is and what he is doing at all times. I think she is waiting for a miraculous burst of energy out of her potential playmate, but for now she is content yelling "wake up Cha-ley" just to see his eyes open. It brings tears to my eyes to see her connection with him already.

And now we are home.

And settling in quite well.

Charles - "free man"

Ethan - "firmness, longlived"

More details of his arrival to come...

The waiting game

2011-07-04T10:17:00.000-07:00

Baby Gray is due in just over a week and we have been in pure nesting mode. Nothing seems clean enough, our list of projects will never be fully checked off, but it is pure bliss. Discomfort aside, waiting on the birth of your child is quite awe inspiring. Everyday feels like a new adventure as we plan out the little things, but always anticipate "Plan B" should baby choose to arrive in the midst of our adventures. Nothing is concrete, there is no magical bullitin that arrives in your 9th month that gives you a slip noting the date and time of delivery. He will come when he chooses. I love it. I love that every moment keeps us guessing and each is one step closer to meeting this child. Knowing that the birth of a child is a moment that will forever be etched in our minds makes the anticipation that much more exciting.

Until he arrives we are sort of holding our breath and not going very far. The last few weeks could be classified as quite simple in our household. Here is a little glimpse:

A visit from Chrissy

(37 weeks and 33 weeks)

My midwife informed me that I needed more calcium, so we have now adopted an "Ice Cream every night" rule. It's going over quite well in our home, especially when sprinkles (or "frickles" as Julia says) are involved.

A trip to our local zoo

Calling all camels (but really she was just as content seeing the fish and bunnies!)

Adria and Clara teaching Julia the fundamentals of big sisterhood

And celebrating the 4th at our town parade this morning

As I sit here this moment, the "to do" list in my head grows longer, though I realize that at the end of your pregnancy your only given the energy to complete what truly matters.

And so we wait....

Pull string pinata

2011-06-24T11:03:00.000-07:00

Pinatas used to scare the heck out of me. As I have thought about this, I believe this deep fear comes from the fact that my birthday is in November, which meant that if I ever wanted one of these contraptions it would have to be indoors. My parents allowed me a pinata one year, which was enjoyed in the confines of our basement. Give a few 6 year olds a bat and a small space and it makes a great deal of sense why that was the end of that particular childhood dream.
Fast foward about 25 years. Not much has changed in the world of pinatas, but I did get this wonderful inspiration from a blog called Young House Love for a pull string pinata. The pull string is perfect for 2 year olds because everyone can participate and it alleviates my fear of blindfolded toddlers toting plastic bats without much direction. This was a fun little project and Julia did actually help a little bit with the paper mache, though mostly she was a big mess. We filled the pinata with mini playdough, packs of pretzels and goldfish crackers, and boxed raisins (which again, is also great for 2 year olds, they don't mind the healthy treats).

Click on the link for Young House Love for the full fledged tutorial. She does such a good job with it, I won't waste time rewriting it all. I mostly found that you have to just figure out what works in regard to tying it up and finishing off the enclosure for the candy.

A few things that I learned from this project:

It is a little bit anti-climactic for the 2 year olds. They loved pulling the string and seeing the candy fall, but needed some encouragement to pick it up. It was well worth the 5 second initial joy of pulling the string though!
When you buy the punch balloons, anticipate using the whole pack of 6. A few balloons popped during the production of this craft and a few were confiscated by Julia.
Store bought pinatas are actually pretty expensive! This entire project (including the treats inside, which was the primary cost) totaled about $15 and I didn't have to worry about party favors because the kids could take these treats home.
And a random personal observation, when you get weekly preganancy updates on the size of your baby, a belly at 37 weeks is compared to a watermelon, but it's also pretty congruent with the size of this pinata. This I learned during the production of this fish and seeing the photos of me side-by-side with it.

cake inspiration

2011-06-22T17:03:00.000-07:00

My friend Shana could put any baker to shame. I wish that I could put as much precision into baking, but I just don't seem to have the patience for the heap of ingredients and measurements. Half of my baking recipes come out good. The other half? Well, I never quite know what went wrong.
I have found a fine balance of boxed mixes that I always use and some good old fashioned recipes that can never be duplicated from a box. I will always use Betty Crocker's dark chocolate brownie mix because it's a winner everytime! At the same time, there is nothing like my great grandmother's homemade biscotti cookie recipe or some of the great baking recipes that I've found in my Moosewood Cookbook. Here is a fine blend of both - a boxed cake mix and some yummy homemade buttercream frosting.

This is an EASY EASY EASY cake to make!

First of all, this was my inspiration from Prudent Baby:

If you are super precise, the above tutorial for you. I knew that I wanted to do a crab and I had icing dispenser to make the design. If you need a little room for error, see below (or just check out the website and create your own masterpiece)! The adaptations that I made turned this big project into a quick 20 minute icing job once the cakes were done.

Bake 2 round 9-inch cakes and let them cool completely.
Meanwhile, make your icing. I use this recipe for buttercream frosting from My Baking Addiction, which I used for the Cadbury cupcakes that I posted around Easter time.
When cooled, use a knife to cut off the top layer of the cake to make sure that you have 2 completely flat surfaces to work with. (set risen pieces aside to use for the crab body and claws)
Ice the bottom layer - place a filling on top of this layer if you'd like.
Place the other layer on top and ice completely.
Take the extra cake pieces from the layer that you cut off and cut out a crab shape. You can use a stencil, but you can just as easily freehand this, which is what I did.
Do the same for 2 claws
Arrange on top of the cake and ice over it.
Whip up your color using food dye
Using a star tip on the icing dispenser (whatever those things are called...) go over the design. You can't really mess up!
Add M&M's for the eyes

And here is the finished product. I added the other claws directly onto the cake. It gives better effect for the front 2 big ones to be raised.

Happy 33rd Birthday Charles!

Lobster and BBQ - does life get any better?

2011-06-20T19:02:00.000-07:00

oH hApPY daY!

Put us on the coast of Maine and call all of our friends - we would be perfectly content spending every weekend this way! So our lobsterbake/fish themed party went off without a hitch. It was comfortable and fun, which was a perfect way to combine the party of a two year old and thirty-something year old. Thanks to Charles for being such a good sport and sharing your birthday while also taking on some pretty hefty labor in the kitchen.

Here are a few of the little additions that pulled together this whole thing.

A bit of a whimsical Cape Cod.

Fish bar for the kiddies.

How easy is this? We had a few imports from Sweden, some guppies, and even some sushi (rice krispie treats wrapped in fruit roll ups with some sprinkles as the "tobiko"). We put this on a little table and at some points had to move the fish to higher ground to make sure that the kids actually ate a real meal too.

The cake for Charles. This was so much fun to make. Probably because I'm not a baker and I have always been intimidated by anything baked that requires some advanced decorating skills. This was among the easiest parts of the preparation (except for the part where I forgot to by confectioner sugar for the icing and had to send my parents out for the 5th trip of the day to the grocery store).

Julia's cupcakes - cinnamon toast cupcakes with buttercream frosting to boot!

Julia's lobster encounter. She was trying to show off for her friend Charlie, so at this point she attempted to convince him that she kissed one when it was alive. She is a brave soul, but does embelish a bit.

The homemade fish pull string pinata. This filled a whole five second span of excitement for the two year olds. They were excited to pull the string, but could have cared less about all of the treats that fell out. In about a year or two that will all change!

Julia and daddy blowing out their candles.

Some love for Becca

and an extra squeeze for Andrew!

I am excited to share some of the details of the party and the ideas that inspired them throughout this week. On Sunday we recovered from the party and celebrated Father's day, which included 9 holes of golf for daddy with Julia and I as his favorite caddies. I then proceeded to experience several contractions throughout the night...a little reminder of the relaxing that needs to occur before our next big event!

At 37 weeks, with not many more to go, this week ahead is one of pure decompressing!

brought to you by the number TWO!

2011-06-13T19:58:00.000-07:00

I can't even begin to describe the joy that I feel as we celebrate Julia's second birthday. She just amazes me everyday and on days like this it is funny to take a step back to see how far she has come in two short years.

Maybe it's my own high maintenance attitude toward birthdays, but when I thought about what to do for Julia on her actual birthday, I kept coming up short. Nothing felt like it could truly capture the celebration that we feel in our hearts for such a milestone. The other day someone asked Julia what she wanted for her birthday this year and she responded, "Mimi and Papa". It's the simple things with her and I decided that she would be more content on our neighbor's swings than she would at the zoo. I could learn a thing or two from her. Today was our simple day. We did what we felt like doing and not much was off limits. She decided to play with playdough on the floor, roll in the dirt in her white dress, and have dessert with every meal. We met daddy out for lunch and had her favorite meal for dinner - enchiladas and corn on the cob at her request. It all ended with a walk around our lovely neighborhood as Julia rode on her new tricycle, ice cream cones before bed and stories of the day that she was born.

Ahh, at what age does this become complicated?

Her first official birthday donut

and TWO sippy cups for our favorite TWO year old as she holds her mini water polo ball (a special gift from daddy to jump start her water polo career)

This is our day winding down - (please ignore my attire, at this point in my pregnancy I am a magnet to most stains!). Most of her energy is spent attempting to let me know how much she thinks she can do on her own, though she always takes time to snuggle. Two is a big milestone because it is the ultimate transition into this independance. This picture below is my little reminder that there are still room for these moments of the pure reliance and comfort needed from a parent.

The perfect ending to our perfect day.

easily distracted

2011-06-12T17:53:00.000-07:00

The other day I had this sudden realization that I had no longer mastered the art of multitasking when I asked Scout (our dog) to go check on Julia who was playing downstairs.

It's those moments as a mother that are humbling reminders that I'm not on top of things as much as I'd like to be. I have found that when I plug away at the little things, the big things seem to come together. We have a ton of party planning ahead for Julia and Charles' birthday party next Saturday. Yet with everything going on, I have found it to be so important to spend some time in my studio working on some special projects. I took a break from party planning this week to make a cute little onesie for a friend who is having a little boy a few weeks after me. I have expanded my sewing horizons to figure out how sewing and boyish things can come together.

I think I have opened the door...and I'm sure there will be more to come due to the fact that there are plenty of boys about to arrive!

Happy baby shower Erika! We can't wait to meet baby B!

And tomorrow is officially Julia's 2nd birthday - although she tends to believe that this entire week has been a celebration for her! The whale onesie may be a sneak preview of the theme in our house right now. Saturday we will be having a New England style lobster bake. I have gotten some great inspiration from some really creative blogs. So I am excited to see it all come together.
Here is a look at the invitation (well, part of it):

More festivities to come! I love this stuff!

You only turn 2 once, you know!

Last days as a ONE year old!

2011-06-07T19:12:00.000-07:00

We've had some proud moments with our little girl this week. She knows that she is about to turn TWO and will announce it to anyone who will listen. Suddenly she has this vast imagination, which makes playing with toys so much more fun! She likes to make tents and create her own little world inside. Usually this involves rearranging her toys until they are comfortable in her eyes. I could watch her for hours as it is so interesting to see how she processes everything around her. For the last week she has been playing with her Minnie and Mickey doll - typically Minnie hits Mickey a few minutes into their playdate and Minnie has to go to "timeout", which is on our stairs. Julia scolds Minnie and explains to her that she needs a timeout and how long she will be there. It usually ends with a kiss between the two of them and these characters are back being the best of friends. These are such teachable moments as she suddenly is developing a sense of compassion and an awareness of the emotions of others.

This is not without its challenges. I wonder how this will translate when her newborn brother comes along and cries quite a bit. Sometimes I forget that she is still so little and I am floored when she hauls off with a premeditated punch to her little friends without a second thought. I recognize that this coming year will be one big teachable moment for all of us!

Here are some pictures of our day today. It makes me smile to capture these simple moments.

Julia's sad face. She does this quite well - on cue too!

Happy face.

My little helper-BEE making gourmet pizza. I love her eclectic palate!

She is quite proud of herself! She says "I do it" approximately 100 times a day.

Most of the time, her efforts to be helpful end up with a lot more cleaning in the long run. This is her desire to "mix" the butter that I was leaving out to soften.

She insists on wearing these sandals on a daily basis. We bought her these for Christmas and they are still one size big. Despite the fact that she trips over her feet, she will not let us take them off! She also HAS to sleep with her cowgirl boots in her crib with her (I am quite proud of this current obsession!)

And a random photo of daddy finishing off her cereal. Ahh, the things we do as a parent to try to make life easy.

So the countdown begins...Julia turns 2 on the 13th.

The next posts will reflect my desire for a last hurrah of her last weeks as an only child. We are excited to celebrate her birthday and have made sure that there are plenty of personal touches at her party!

creating spaces

2011-05-24T19:10:00.000-07:00

Today I spent my entire day with my hand guarding my rib cage. The reminder that I am quickly running out of room in my torso was brought home by a little foot conveniently wedged beyond its boundaries. Although I cringe at times, I love this little game. I give a little push to move the baby into a more comfortable position and the response typically means a complete shift of his space. This often involves a distinct profile of his little limbs, which is beyond precious. I have joked that although this child still has about 7 weeks until he makes an appearance, I somewhat feel like I've already had small glimpses of him with these distinct movements.

On a small level, he is already carving out his space in the world. He will do this in many different ways throughout his life and this is just the beginning. It makes me think of how we do this in our own lives. We do this in profound ways: blazing paths, making important choices, pushing and pulling in the right ways to make ourselves known, connecting with those that we love. We also do this in tangible ways: finding places that are a right fit for us, remodeling, gathering ideas, and just the constant motion in life.
My studio is my favorite reflection of this ongoing rearrangement in life to designate spots for the things that are most important. The other day I took some pictures in my studio. The main reason that I did this is because it is rarely clean, but I also wanted to capture this newly configured space as it is now serves as a guest room and studio. We are not quite done with this transition as there are a few touches in progress that will better distinguish the sleeping area. As I took some photos, I found myself drawn to little places throughout this room that make it "home" to me. Although it is a constant work in progress, these are the bones of the room. The hand picked, new and old, carved out pieces that make it so special.

Below is a mini studio tour of my favorite things:
An ode to spaces.

Mother's Day love.

2011-05-09T18:58:00.000-07:00

It's difficult to remember exactly what I was feeling last year on my first Mother's Day. I knew that I had entered into this new realm of love and I was so excited to celebrate this new role of motherhood. For some odd reason, this year I had this overwhelming feeling that I could "officially" embrace and celebrate Mother's Day. Maybe it's the fact that I am pregnant with our second child, but I believe that it has more to do with the sense that anyone can do anything for a little while. The first year is like learning to ride a bike. Sure, it's got its own challenges, but when you let go of the training wheels and pick up some speed, there is a grand realization that you're really doing it. I'm really doing it. Challenges and joys, speedbumps and spills.
I'm a mom.

My entire Mother's day, my heart was filled with so much joy that I felt like I was on the verge of tears. I woke up to Julia crawling into our bed and very clearly saying, "Happy Mother's Day". Charles made breakfast and then we went for a walk around the neighborhood. Julia stopped to smell and pick every dandilion that she could find. We then came home and headed to Boston for the Red Sox game. Here are some pictures from the game. I wonder sometimes how it could possibly get much better than this! God is so good!

Her first taste of cotton candy. She mostly just liked the feeling of it in her hands.

Julia saw the Red Sox Mascot, Wally from afar in the first inning. Because it was Mother's Day, we got the special deal of 2 mascots - Wally was accompanied by his own mother, Momma Monster. Julia was obsessed with seeing Wally again, so we spent most of our time in between innings on a search for Wally and Momma Monster. In the 6th inning, we finally had a close encounter with Wally. Charles and Julia quickly ran down toward the dugout so that Julia could meet him and I chased behind with the camera. As she came within feet of Wally she burst into tears and screamed to get away from him. I captured this photo (see Wally's fuzzy head in the backround?) and we quickly made our way back to our seat. We asked Julia what happened. She said, "I scared", "I cry" and "Wally stupid". We're not really sure where she learned the word stupid, but she said it so sweetly and innocently. Last night as we said our bedtime prayers she said that she wanted to pray for Wally. I asked her if she liked Wally again, and she reconfirmed that "no" she did not. I told her it's good to pray for the things that scare us too.

On the lookout for any additional furry Mascot encounters.

Happy Mother's Day!

baby. boy. gray.

2011-05-05T11:34:00.000-07:00

The 10 week mark is officially here. I would like to say that I am in the home stretch, but I realize that the last month is really like hitting the "wall" in a marathon. So, I will coast along for a few weeks while I can still bear it. Then I may start to get antsy.

While we were away, our contractor (I say "our" because he did our kitchen and it pretty much feels like he's lived in our home on and off for the past 6 months) painted the nursery for us. We were originally excited about tackling this project ourselves, but the toxicity associated with painting paneled walls is not the most baby-friendly. I felt pretty safe about leaving it to Bob while we were gone and the house could air out for a few days. Julia always says, "Bob fix it", she knows that we have our limitations when it comes to DIY home improvement. If it doesn't involve a paintbrush or sewing machine, I am somewhat out of my element. Nevermind, I am always out of my element. If it's a project that takes precision and I can't wing it, I err on the side of seeking assistance. Otherwise my husband will probably end up rolling his eyes.

The fun part of this was deciding how we were going to tackle this project. Take one look at the before pictures and you can see my dilemma. Paneled walls are a force to be reckoned with. My friend Kate just took on her own paneled wall painting project in Delaware. I find that the farther North one travels, the greater the likelyhood that they will encounter these bad boys. I just don't get it.

Dark photos, I know. I realized the night before our 6am flight that I had no "before" pictures of this room. I couldn't miss the chance to document the end of the panel era.

Kate solidified my inspiration to embrace them and paint them rather than to get rid of them all together. Our budget further supported this option. I did want one solid wall in order to have some element of contrast in the room. The blog The Lettered Cottage also provided some great inspiration along with a trip that we took to Chatham in Cape Cod just a few weekends ago.

The built in drawers were removed because they were no longer very functional after 50 years, so we added a custom shelf, which I am in love with. It adds so much to the room. Inside the closet, the son of the original owners (who is now in his 50's) carved his name "Skip" in the wood. We opted not to sand that part out. It adds to the character. Also, the horseshoe has been there since the house was built in the 50's. I love it. Our future cowboy may too.

Our solid wall - as soon as you enter the room. The color is difficult to capture with the camera. It's a soft blue called Heaven on Earth. I am a sucker for paint color names. I find it quite fitting!

I am so excited to start moving things into the room. As you can see, the paint is barely dry and I have already snuck some diapers in there. Most of the nursery furniture will come from Julia's room as she will transition to a big girl bed when she is ready. Since we were inspired by the Cape Cod grey/white contrast , we bought a little souvenier from Chatham when we were there a few weeks ago. This is where we were engaged, so we were excited to add a handmade element to the room from a place that will be very much a part of this child's life.

So here we are. A space for the baby. He can arrive whenever he is good and ready and well baked.

My little fish

2011-05-02T07:06:00.000-07:00

We just returned home from a wonderfully relaxing trip to visit family in Tampa, FL this past weekend. Charles and I booked this trip when there was about 3 feet of snow on the ground, so this was our treat for enduring a significantly harsh New England winter. We had a wonderful time all packed into four days.

Most of our time was spent at the beach, but on Friday, Gram had a great idea of taking Julia to a rescue aquarium. All of the sea life at this aquarium are rescued and rehabed to enter back into the ocean. Julia loved every moment of it. She skipped along the pathway to each exhibit and held on tight when the fish swam up close to her. She was pretty sure that Nemo was among these recovering fish, which I think helped her relax a bit.

Here she is with her Gram (great Gram!)

She was pretty impressed with the dolphins. This is Winter who lost his little flipper. He now has an adaptive prosthetic flipper, which is sort of comical. Ahh, the advancements of technology!

I asked her what noise a sea turtle makes. She looked at me for a long time and finally just shook her head and said "nothing". She's to smart for this stuff.

And her favorite part of the trip was all of the time that she got to spend with Aunt Kirstan and Uncle Greg (Cookie and Elmo according to her). They spent countless hours in the ocean with her and loved every moment of it! I don't know who was more excited about their time together. Julia wanted Cookie by her side at every moment.

Here is a little tank top that I made for Julia in the midst of the snowy winter. I couldn't wait for her to finally have an opportunity to wear it. It says "Julia" in the dots. It is the ultimate example of the simplicity of sewing with a few scraps of cute fabric.

I am so in love with this little beach bum!

I see many beach and swimming events in our future!

A little more Easter (sweets edition)

2011-04-26T18:50:00.000-07:00

My neighbor told me that I should enter one of those TLC cupcake shows because of all of the cupcake baking I've done recently. I would think about pursuing this except for the simple fact that this gourmet cupcake kick will end promptly in 11 weeks when this baby arrives. Part of my problem is that I get daily updates from the Baking Addiction blog, which has some really great baking ideas. I believe that a symptom of pregnancy-brain is that ideas become obsessions. This is true for baking, decorating, creating, and basically everything connected with preparing for this baby.

Here is the link to the recipe for Cadbury Creme Egg Cupcakes - one look and you couldn't pass it up. So, check out your Target candy clearance aisle for Cadbury Creme Eggs and get baking.

The best part of baking is making your own adaptations. I didn't add another Cadbury egg on top - there is already one inside and I didn't have enough eggs anyway.

I think there is plenty of sweetness without it!

And what good is a great recipe without a wonderful baking assistant?

I will have to give the most credit to my mom for bearing with me as we attempted to perfect the frosting, but Julia wins the cutest sidekick award. It's all in the apron, which was a gift from a friend who was just recently moved from this area to the West coast. Devon shares my love of handmade things - I was able to make a few things for her daughter's second birthday and she sent me this as a Thank You. The best part of this gift is that it is (a) from Etsy (b) involves cupcakes and (c) is made by one of her friends who just started selling her creations. Here is the link for your very own apron.

Julia now refuses to enter the kitchen without putting on her "apon".

And to top off the randomness of this post, here is our pirate who is not quite sure how to pose with her egg creations.

Easter

2011-04-25T19:03:00.000-07:00

What a wonderful Easter! It is always a beautiful time of rebirth. Everything is in bloom. New beginnings are right around the corner. All of those components are alive and true, especially this year. Spring has finally arrived, another child on the way, Julia discovering new things around every corner.

The sermon on Sunday morning was a wonderful reminder of the hope that God promised and continues to promise us at Easter and beyond - the message that nothing is set in stone. Christ died and was placed in the tomb, though just when it seemed as though the story was over, the stone was rolled away to display the power of a greater God. There are many stones in our lives, but God is bigger than all of it. Our future is in His hands. There is no cashing in the chips when things seem overwhelming, this is when God's Glory is revealed. What a promise!

Here are some of our great family moments from the day:
Just a small note, these pictures were captured within a short timeframe. Most other moments involved a barefooted child, an Easter dress adorned with a strawberry and chocolate mish mosh, 2 broken eggs, a delayed Easter brunch, and a love/hate relationship with her bonnet.
All of the makings of a great holiday!

22 months

2011-04-12T17:56:00.000-07:00

Happy 22 months Julia Claire!

This about sums up your vibrant personality and your wonderful style of letting us know what you need at all times!

We love the heck out of you, even when you pretend like you're a fish and refuse to leave the tub! We love that you now say big words like "pirate" and "elephant" and are pretty animated when describing these favorite things of yours. We love that as you learn to share, you feed your stuffed animals to make sure that they get the good stuff too. We love that when we ask about your favorite word you say "sorry" (a well used statement for you). We love taking you to the park and swinging higher and higher on the swings and love that you are fearless as you raise your hands in the air yelling, "Gia, hiya" ("Julia higher"). We love that you are becoming shy when you meet people that you don't know, but quickly come out of your shell once they win you over. We love that you are so concerned for the people you love, and even more concerned for their animals. We love that you attribute all things involving airplanes, beach and swimming back to your Aunt Kirstan. It would make her very proud to hear you say "Cookie" as much as you do!

You are the sweetest ball of fire all wrapped into 22 months of life.

We so are excited to see you grow as you enter the role of big sister, but for now we will relish the next 13 weeks of having you all to ourselves!

S'mores cupcakes

2011-03-27T19:09:00.000-07:00

This is not a random mound of marshmallows.

This is Baby V (top - 20 weeks) meets Baby G (bottom -24 weeks).

The other day I got to spend the day with my dear friend Chrissy. When deciding how we were going to spend our time, there seemed to be no better option than to bake (which we do very well). When one of us mentioned cupcakes and found this recipe, it seemed like the PERFECT remedy to any pregnancy craving (or non-pregnancy craving as my husband discovered). It was also very fitting since Chrissy and I grew up together and were Girl Scouts from the early Daisy days. We have toasted many S'mores throughout our friendship. Now, we shall pass this love on to our children...

What you need for these yummy cupcakes:

cupcake liners (makes about 24)

7 whole graham crackers coarsely copped

1 cup sour cream

1 package chocolate cake mix (I used vanilla, which was fine!)

1 package vanilla instant pudding mix

1/2 cup water

1/2 cup vegetable oil

4 large eggs

1 cup milk chocolate chips

1 milk chocolate bar - crumble bits for garnish

Marshmallow frosting (see below)

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line cupcake tin with paper liners

2. Place 1 Tblsp of graham cracker crumbs in the bottom of each liner. Set these aside and reserve the remaining graham cracker crumbs for the garnish. Also set aside 3 Tblsp of sour cream for the frosting.

3. Place cake mix pudding mix, remaining sour cram, water, oil and eggs in a large mixing bowl - blend. Fold in the chocolate chips. Spoon 1/4 cup batter into each lined cupcake cup. Place pan in the oven.

4. Bake until they spring back when lightly pressed (19 to 22 min). Place on a wire rack to cool.

5. Prepare the filling and the marshmallow frosting:

Chocolate filling (this makes a lot, it can be saved or used for another frosting):

1 package chocolate pudding mix

2 cups of whole milk

1/2 cup milk chocolate chips

2 Tblsp butter

1 tsp vanilla extract

Marshmallow frosting:

1 jar (13oz) marshmallow creme (fluff)

3 Tblsp sour cream

1 tsp vanilla extract

Remove the lid from the jar of fluff and place in microwave for approx 45 seconds. Scrape fluff out of the jar and into mixing bowl. Add sour cream and vanilla extract. With an electric mixer, beat the mixture on med speed until fluffy and well blended (about 1 min).

Fill your cupcakes and frost. Garnish with the extra graham cracker and chocolate pieces.

Enjoy the combination of S'mores flavors without a campfire, but all of the gooey goodness!

Above is my new cupcake pan (yes, I like cupcakes so much that I had to purchase this fancy pan) - the red silicone tip adds the center for filled cupcakes. See below for a regular cupcake pan option.

Here is an option from Baking Addiction (how to fill cupcakes), which uses an apple corer. And if you have some extra time, check out her latest recipes...the pictures alone are quite enticing!

Spring dress

2011-03-19T20:05:00.000-07:00

I keep meaning to post the quick and easy basics of the pinafore dress, but I have yet to master the art of taking photos as I work. Typically I sew while Julia be-bops around with her toys. In an hour of sewing, I spend at least 45 minutes attempting to assure that she doesn't grab the iron or eat a button. She is really interested in my machine and likes to think that she can create something. She sits at the machine and says, "I can do it" and "yes, I can". Latetly she sound like a little motivational speaker.

Anyway, sewing is the least child-proof hobby there is. Unless you're in to sky diving.

I have made a few dresses and have captured little bits of each project. In the meantime, I attempted this Snappy toddler dress by Prudent Baby for a friend's little girl. Prudent Baby has some great ideas - everything from party inspiration to rainy day ideas to sewing tutorials. I had to adapt the pattern to make it a bit bigger, but it turned out smaller than expected, so I kept it for Julia. It actually fits her perfectly!

She has yet to wear it, but it is the perfect WELCOME SPRING dress.

PS. I love Amy Butler fabric. This is currently on sale through Sew Mama Sew's site. A great deal and a little bright spot in my day. I am easily amused by pretty fabrics....and nice paper and current episodes of Modern Family.

St. Patrick's adventure O' the day

2011-03-17T12:45:00.000-07:00

I must have an ounce of Irish in me somewhere along the lines of my heritage, but I have mostly lived vicariously through my best friend Jilly as I have always tagged along with her festivities (she's not even 100%Irish, but she embraces every ounce she has!) Since Jill and I no longer live together, I've had to dig deep for some motivation to celebrate this day. It's not hard...wear green (check), go hear some good Irish music (check - later tonight), pretend like you're Irish for the day. I decided to let Julia join in on the fun, so we tuned into some Irish music on Pandora and embarked on an Irish lunch adventure:

Green Eggs and Ham.

I must digress one moment to acknowledge my latest love for eggs. I have been buying them from my co-worker who raises his own chickens. I love listening to his farming endeavors and how much he loves raising chickens. Even better? Their yolks are a vibrant yellow and their taste surpasses any store-bought egg! I am a huge fan of buying local and an even bigger fan of knowing exactly where the eggs come from and how the animals are treated. These chickens are well loved and produce some of the most colorful eggs I've ever seen. I love just looking at them.

So when lunch was looking a little boring, I was inspired to add a little green to our day. I'm not a huge fan of food coloring, but one drop goes a long way.
Here we are, green eggs and ham (inspired by St. Patty's Day with a little help from Dr. Seuss).

We had a yummy lunch while serenaded by an Irish jig.

Jilly, it's not too late to come and celebrate with us!

Parenting 101

2011-03-12T20:19:00.000-08:00

This photo was a rare opportunity to capture my true child.

Most other moments today would be characterized as a "terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day". It started with a missed nap and was filled with temper tantrums, a few chosen items thrown across the room, 2 "stop it mommy" statements, plenty of "I don't like it"'s, numerous attempts to climb down the stairs, and a boycott of most of her meals (except for the chocolate dessert at lunch).

Despite all of that, this day was one of my favorites. Why?
1) We are in Delaware.
2) Spring provided a glimmer of hope that it is right around the corner.
3) Lunch was spent celebrating my mommom's birthday as 5 generations sat around the table.
4) I have had some wonderful opportunities to spend time with my dearest friends and marvel at the fact that though life around us is drastically changing, our friendships are held fast and enduring.
5) I made 3 random purchases today that make me quite happy: a planner, a wallet, and a seersucker whale dress for Julia to wear this summer.
6) I took a nap 2 days in a row - a big deal, I know!
7) For some strange reason, baby #2 was doing flips and somersaults throughout the entire day - a constant reminder of his presence.
8) A random phone call from my sister always makes me smile and gives me perspective.
9) Tonight we spring forward.
10) I watched Julia's eyes grow heavy as she fell fast asleep in my mom's arms tonight. A sight that is so precious that it brings tears to my eyes.

Parenting is a challenging endeavor. Parenting a 21-month old seems to belong in a whole separate category. She is becoming too smart for her own good, but not quite at the point of recognizing where things go wrong. I have had to conjure a great deal of patience and draw from the wisdom of friends who have gone through this stage already. In the midst of all of this, life just gets more and more fun. It is easy to become completely focused on assuring my child's good behavior, but when I do that I miss out on a lot. Just when I think she has completely unraveled, she is fine and we are back on track. I plan on ordering this picture to hang in our home. It will be my forever reminder of the fact that though she'd had a melt down only seconds earlier, this precious moment was right around the corner.
Happy parenting to all of my friend's with 2-ish year olds!

Thinking blue

2011-03-03T20:34:00.000-08:00

It's a boy!

I do believe that this revelation explains my strange urge for Captn' Crunch Berries every night and his nonstop movement (which may be due to the sugar rush). The neatest part of knowing is thinking about how this will fit with our family. Everything is difficult to imagine when you are having a baby. One day they are joyous thoughts and dreams of who they will be and the next moment they are there with their own approach to life from the very beginning. I laugh to myself whenever new parents try to meticulously plan what their immediate future will look like when the baby arrives. It never works out that way and I think most people figure that out pretty quickly.

This week we have been doing plenty of imagining. When we found out on Monday morning, Charles and I had breakfast together to talk about our first thoughts. He immediately thought that this child will pee all over everything. I instantly had this sense that our house would never be quiet again. We then spent a good deal of time excitedly thinking about how Julia will respond to it all. Gender aside, both of us thanked God that he appears healthy and is growing right on target.

Julia was indifferent to the news that she was having a brother, but she happily announced that she was having a "brudder" to her grandparents. The next day, she made the announcement to our neighbors, but proudly stated "sister", which we had to correct. She's not a very consistent announcer, I think she needs more practice.

The second trimester is a funny thing. I have felt this renewed sense of energy and I feel absolutely wonderful, which is vastly different from a few months ago. That energy has translated into the need to get everything in order from the baby's room to random closets. I think my nesting instincts are kicking in much quicker this time. This is when all of the good stuff comes together and I remember why I loved pregnancy so much the first time around. Just feeling him kick is such a precious gift.

In many ways this feels very similar to my experience with my first pregnancy. The only difference is the time to document everything. Charles took this picture the other day and I realized that it was my first pregnancy photo this time around. As a second child myself, I vowed to be just as diligent in assuring that he gets the same time and attention, but I am already recognizing how difficult this is.
Here we are at 21 weeks - Julia is giving her little brother a sticker. It doesn't give the full "belly shot" effect, but it's the best we've got so far.

And here are some fun pictures from our "adventure" night. These are mundane weeknights where nothing fun is happening, so we make up our own adventures. This involved the "adventure" song, my winter hat (Julia's pick), and a box. The other day our adventure was going to get the oil change. I find that just singing the adventure song puts me in a better mood about boring things, so it's a win/win for everyone.

Boy or Girl?

2011-02-27T17:22:00.001-08:00

Julia can't decide.

She says "sister " better than "brother", but her vibrant personality would probably be better tempered with a little brother. We're completely on the fence about who this baby will be and are beyond excited to find out tomorrow. When I was pregnant with Julia, I was convinced that I was having a girl, so when the ultrasound technician confirmed it, I secretly felt like I already knew. This time around, I'm not so sure. We will keep you posted...

And speaking of her vibrant personality - the fact that she is wearing 2 different shoes is not a creative way of reflecting our gender debate. Since she has really taken a keen interest in taking her shoes off at all times, she lost her precious blue shoe at the hair salon. After a 24 hour period, we finally figured it out, but in the meantime, she was pretty excited about wearing 2 different shoes. Yes, she will be one of those kids in preschool!

Sweet dress

2011-02-24T14:04:00.000-08:00

I am a creature of habit. When I was in college, I wore the same sweatpants and vest as often as I could because I loved the way they fit. Confession: I even slept in my vest and could only study when I had it on. I was like this even when I was little. I only wore certain things that fit a certain way. I could only wear socks if the lining at the toes was perfectly straight.

I now see some of these traits in Julia, which makes me laugh. While I am laughing, my mother is basking in the sheer joy of all of those "just wait until you have kids" comments. Julia is getting specific about what she wants. She will only eat a chip if it is dipped in something (guacamole is her favorite). She refuses to eat her Mickey Mouse pancake if I cut it before she sees it all buttered up. She must take off her shoes and socks as soon as I strap her in her carseat, which drives me nuts! She has to have a certain blanket and listen to music at night before bed. She has to have lotion on her hands when she walks into our bedroom (this started recently when she would see me apply coco butter each morning before work). Just this week she has a new one: when she wakes up in the morning, she likes to have a sticker on her hand before she can function. It's like her coffee.

I may not be this specific now, but I do know what I like. When I ordered Julia a little pinafore dress about a year ago, she wore it everytime it was clean because it was so easy to put on and she looked adorable in it. She wore it all summer and into the fall and winter. When the buttons were bursting at the seams, I knew that she was too big for it, but I couldn't part with it. As I took a closer look at it, I realized that it would be an easy project. I scored some adorable bumble bee fabric at Joann Fabric that were on double clearance. I was able to get a yard of these 2 fabrics for about $4 total. You can't see the underlayer very well, but it is pink with bees, the front is little hives with bees throughout.

Adorable! Her new staple outfit!

I plan on taking pictures of the next one that I make to give a step by step guide. I almost hate to admit how easy this is, but it is a good one to share.

happy Valentine's Day

2011-02-13T16:23:00.000-08:00

We made it through a week without any major snow accumulations, but there is still very little that we can do outside. I did a little research to figure out a Valentine's Day project that was age appropriate for Julia. After an exhausting search, we came back to the basics: finger painting and pretzels. I had Julia paint on a large strip of paper with red paint. We let it dry and then I cut it into hearts.

We then made little love notes for family and friends, but it needed a little something more...

I wanted to make something that Julia could help with, which led me to the ease (and deliciousness) of chocolate covered pretzels. We made what seemed like dozens, but as soon as Julia got a hold of one, she was hooked. And so was I.

We ended up with a few treat bags for her babysitter and a some others, but it definately took on a much smller scale. Instead of sending a ton of love notes, I sewed a continuous strand of the painted hearts to make an adorable garland that is now hanging on our window. That's about as festive as I get.

This left me with plenty of time to work on my gift to Julia.

I didn't really anticipate making this for Julia as a Valentine's Day gift, but when I think of her latest loves, I immediately think of her love for her "banket". She must go everywhere with a small fleece blanket that my sister bought for her. I have wanted to make her a blanket to practice some of the techniques needed for a blanket and bumper pad for the nursery. This was the perfect easy project. I did have to pull out a few stitches here and there as I figured it out on my own, but Julia was pretty happy with it.

Yes, pretty much everything I make is personalized somehow. She won't have to share this one with her new sibling :)

Happy Valentine's Day from Julia Claire Gray!

Snowed in until further notice...

2011-02-01T18:28:00.000-08:00

I am embarrassed to say that we have been so homebound that I haven't even ventured outside to take pictures of this monsterous snow that hasn't let up for the past month. Poor Julia would be swallowed up by the drifts, so we watch it from the window (it literally reaches up to our front windows) and dream about the fun things we can do when we finally get outside. We're all experiencing a little cabin fever, though Julia has consumed much of her time searching for bugs. She found one the other day and is now convinced that every speck on the floor must be a bug. She is obsessed in a cute and concerned kind of way.

And when this weather coincides with a new onset of second trimester pregnancy cravings, it is the perfect mix for some time in the kitchen. My mom visited for the weekend and we cooked some lovely feasts. On the menu? Rich Mushroom soup, Vanilla Bean Bourbon cake from Bon Apetit magazine, and my new and improved favorite recipe: Baked Egg Rolls from Cooking Light. I have made these before, but this time I tweaked things a bit to make the recipe easier. First of all, I didn't have celery, so I just added more cabbage. Also, I bought the veggies preshredded, which greatly cuts down on time. And finally, I brushed each egg roll lightly with olive oil so that they weren't so healthy feeling. It was a craving, I had to indulge a little bit :) Oh, and in the ethnic food section of your grocery store you can find some spicy mustard, which is a great dipping sauce along with the one provided in the recipe above (again, this may just be my own pregnancy related preference).

Note to future egg roll bakers: If you make these, take a picture of them once they are neatly wrapped, you will surely feel like Martha Stewart!

So with 20+ inches coming along tonight added onto the 2+ feet that we already have, spring feels a long way off! More of our homebound adventures to come!

Welcome 2011 babies!

2011-01-21T12:46:00.000-08:00

In just 3 short weeks of 2011, several friends have welcomed precious new babies into the world. For most of them, it is their first child, which is extra exciting. A special thank you goes out to the Handlon's who allowed us the bliss of visiting sweet little Sadie Grace this past week. This thank you is emphasized because it came after a 5+ hour drive to Delaware in which our 19 month old was cooped up in the car with nothing but her "Nemo" DVD and an endless supply of juice. When we arrived, she was covered in pee and was on a mission to run and get into anything she could. When we first brought Julia home from the hospital, we could have never imagined the chaos that could unfold in just 19 short months, but somehow it happens. The pristine world of having a newborn greatly changes, so soak it in friends! I do promise, it just gets better and better!

And there is no better way to celebrate a baby than with their very own personalized onesie! These owls were so much fun to make and are perfect for boys and girls!

Happy snow day!
The perfect kind of day to sew (after a round of sledding and some hot cocoa)!

The "oFFiciaL" kitchen tour

2011-01-13T19:58:00.000-08:00

Julia would like to be the first to introduce you to her new kitchen, though I'm afraid that her highlights would include Scout's food area (she likes to assure it stays well stocked) and a few select cabinets with her favorite surprises inside.

This post has been delayed primarily because of events associated with pregnancy. With all of the love and energy poured into the design and remodel, I found out that I was pregnant just as the finishing touches were added. One week later I was sick. Sick sick. Like lay on the couch, can't move, can't keep anything down, can't look at the kitchen because it is associated with food kind of sick. Our poor kitchen stood alone with only Charles' attention, which for the most part included cooking for himself and Julia and baking lots of soft pretzels. Charles was really amazing with putting things away while I threw in my input from the couch, but I longed for the time to really dig into OUR kitchen.

The other day I made Moosewood ricotta muffins for a friend who just had a baby, on Christmas eve I managed to make pierogies, tonight I made enchiladas. There was a joy that transpired in these recent baking moments. I have slowly arrived. It was a gradual introduction to this kitchen, but the love has been there, tucked away, waiting to be enjoyed!

So there it is, a 360 degree sweep of our newest addition (non-human addition that is!) We did not have many pictures of our old kitchen, but it was gutted to the bare bones. Despite the complete remodel, there is a retro feel that we were able to retain in this space. Our old kitchen was completely non-functional, but very much congurent with the New England cape style. Our focus throughout this project was to remain true to the 1950's cape style, but to add elements of our personality. Each choice we made from the cabinet pulls to the paint colors were fun and pretty stress free as we held true to our focus throughout the entire process. It was just so much fun to watch it all come together!

So, there are still a few pieces that have remained on hold as we have focused on other priorities. We still need outlet covers and a smaller pendant light (the first one that we ordered was a bit to big for the space).

My favorite elements? Definately the farmhouse apron front sink. It just pulls the whole space together. Also, I love the functional open space between the kitchen and dining room. It is not only functional, but essential as I can now see what Julia's ~~up to~~ in to while I am able to actually get some things done in the kitchen. And I love the color of our dining room (this was hard to capture in pictures, more of the dining room to come). It is a slate gray/green Benjamin Moore color that served as the catalyst for much of our inspiration. The color pulls the kitchen and dining room together, which makes it feel like one big cozy space.

For those far away, welcome to your first view of the space. What we can't capture here is the smell of freshly cooked breakfast, which is always on order for our favorite visitors!

Enticing? Come on up and see for yourself!

Fabric love (part 2)

2011-01-07T06:08:00.000-08:00

So, with some down time this winter I have decided to tackle some bigger projects. Inspiration for these projects always starts with some great fabric and a few really neat ideas from some of the blogs that I follow. My latest ambition? Bedding and curtains.

Now, apparently these are easy tasks, but I was reading a great book the other day that encouraged the reader to think about the type of sewer they are:

1) Perfectionist (focus on details)

2) Miser (thrifty, attempt to use all of your fabric at hand)

3) Artist (creative, fly by the seat of your pants)

4) Speed Demon (in a rush to do a lot of sewing in a little amount of time)

These are good things to know about yourself. I am by no means a perfectionist. The route from start to finish for me is often pretty bumpy. I make changes from the original plan and I am often at a loss for how I got to the end result. Therefore, I tend to avoid projects that require measuring and calculating, and (most importantly) patience.

Maybe it's the knowledge that I probably won't have extra time to do these things for at least another few years or maybe it is the itching reminder that I'm going to need to learn a thing or two about patience with another child coming along, but I think it's about time to buckle down and figure this out.

For now, I will just embark on my favorite part of this journey and choose some fabric for the room.

I don't think I'll use the one below, but it's awful fun!

No, we don't know the gender, but I do have a magnetic draw to greens and blues.

Here is proof that we are thinking of both options :)

Big/little news

2011-01-02T11:45:00.000-08:00

We are thrilled to announce a new addition to the Gray family (to make his/her debut in July)!

Yep, there's a bun in the oven!

I would expand on the highlights, but I am just reentering the world after a 14-week hiatus. The first trimester was fairly difficult, but we have survived and are looking ahead with lots of excitement. Julia is a bit oblivious, but we think she's just as excited. She points to the baby in mommy's belly (but she also points to the baby in daddy's belly). I'm sure that this will become more defined as time passes :)

So, with the sickness behind me, I am looking forward to getting back into my studio to prepare for this little one. I have some great ideas and I have even greater inspiration after my friend gave me Amy Butler's book: Little Stitches for Little Ones. Take a look - the little monkey hamper will convert any non-sewer! The designs are precious!

So, let the nesting begin!

Christmas highlights

2010-12-26T14:14:00.000-08:00

Christmas this year was a mixture of quiet contentment and unending activity. Quite a combination. We stayed in Massachusetts and celebrated Christmas with Charles' parents who live nearby. Ironically, despite the fact that my family was far away, there were these wonderful bits of tradition that somehow made their presence known throughout Christmas. First of all, my Gram from Florida sent some wonderful oranges (yes, special ones straight from Florida that could never be replicated in the grocery aisles of New England). It was a little piece of sunshine. Babci (my great grandmother) sent me home from my last trip to Delaware with peirogies. Pierogies have been a staple for our Christmas eve dinner throughout my life. It wouldn't feel the same without them. Although Babci's cooking could never be replicated, pierogies made their appearance on our table Christmas eve. A little piece of family tradition that means more than the pierogies themselves. My parents and sister sent gifts and Kirstan and I had a wonderful chat on Christmas eve that temporarily cured my homesickness. With some time to reflect on our day, I realized that despite the fact that my family was not physically present, they were well represented in everything we did thoughout the day. I am proud of the traditions that we carry out and even prouder of how they have come to be real in our lives.

Here are our favorite moments:

Scout is still waiting for a Santa sighting...

Julia dressed for Christmas eve service. Don't let that cuteness fool you. We let her go to the front of the church for the children's message. Charles and I had her contained from each side (we were waiting for her in the side pews). While attempting to adjust herself on each child's lap to hear the message, she just couldn't get comfortable so she ran down the center aisle to escape. It was the longest children's message ever! And Julia pulled out all of her tricks for it!

Christmas morning. Taking it all in.

Once she figured out that these packages were for her, she decided that she wanted to place them throughout the living room. Santa should have sent blocks this year. She was perfectly content stacking and unstacking the presents.

And the wrapping paper. Oh the joy!

Favorite gift of the day? Daddy found her a perfectly sized Grays field hockey stick.

The start of something wonderful!

We woke up openening gifts and ended the day opening gifts. I realize that not every Christmas will be this slow and methodical, but it was nice to watch Julia unwrap each gift with great intent.

Post Christmas pajama day. Julia and daddy are watching some cartoons in her new fort/tent. She grabs her blanket and is perfectly happy in her own little space.

We will wait out the blizzard from here.

Merry Christmas!

May you experience the joy of family and the peace of faith in each moment of the holiday!

Christmas (an 18 month old's perspective)

2010-12-20T16:07:00.000-08:00

Here is just a quick glimpse of our lives over the past week as we continue to prepare for Christmas. Seeing all of this from Julia's perspective has been so much fun as she attempts to make sense of these traditions. Each part is a wonderful opportunity to practice the presence of the moment as she learns (and I relearn) why we celebrate as we do.

Watching for Santa (and squirrels). She's not quite sure which is more exciting.

Scout votes for the squirrels.

Playing with her manger scene - we have to remind her to be careful from time to time, but for the most part she is enthralled by arranging and rearranging each piece. She likes to separate the animals and she is pretty perplexed by the fact that the manger is empty. (Jesus is waiting for His arrival on the 25th). Julia walks around with her hands up calling for Jesus.

And Christmas tree shopping, which is always a daunting task in our household. My goal in choosing a tree is to pick the perfectly imperfect tree. The one that will look beautiful in our home, but will probably go unselected by those seeking perfection. It's my Charlie Brown perspective that has been instilled in me since my own childhood. This year I attempted to pass this on to Julia, but she was pretty content to run up and down the hill. She was also pretty excited that she had a pine tree companion in the back seat with her for the ride home.

Next year.

Joyful Joyful!

2010-12-09T12:01:00.000-08:00

The month of November could probably be classified as the most "interesting" month that we have survived as a family. We have so much to be grateful for and we have successfully accomplished several major feats including the official completion of our kitchen and dining room remodel and some other special projects. :)

Now that November is behind us, Christmas time is approaching with great speed (as always). As of today, December 9th, we have yet to get a tree and our decorations remain packed neatly in their tupperware bins. Our only reminder of Christmas is our wooden advent tree - a focal point in our dining room that helps us to slow down each day to prepare in this advent season. It has kept me grounded. The decorations don't matter yet, the preparation is the important part. Today our advent challenge is JOY. We told Julia that we are joyful because we are anticipating Christ's birth (she is pretty excited about Jesus lately and has started folding her hands as we pray to Him). Charles gave Julia a goofy demonstration of how we show joy and then asked Julia to show us how she shows joy. She promptly broke out in a very excited clap for us. It's these simple gifts that remind us of the true meaning of this season. Sometimes life gives us reasons to stop. Our recent circumstances have caused us to do this, which has been such a gift for our family. We have had a "we will just do what we can" perspective, which has allowed us to rally as a family and invest in the important things this Christmas. Other times, we must be ever mindful of our need to slow down and just enjoy the ride. Being in the presence of a child is the ultimate excuse to do this!

Here are a few of my simple JOYS over the past few weeks:

A new found love for the hide-n-seek - a great game when new cabinets go in.

Celebrating Thanksgiving with some great family and friends.

Enjoying our cozy comforts of home in our new kitchen.

And enjoying some family time after the turkey trot.

Where do you find joy this Christmas?

Fabric love

2010-11-17T16:16:00.000-08:00

Since November is the lovely month where we celebrate both thankfulness and indulgence, I thought I would share one of my loves that falls nicely into both of those categories: Fabric.

As I have moved from place to place over the years I have always had a small stash of fabric from my college days when we would make simple hair wraps. There was never a real reason to keep it, but I felt extra crafty if I kept it.

Every crafter should own fabric :)

I slowly accumulated more cute fabric when I was pregnant to inspire me to make something for my child-to-be. Well, I finally had to make sense of these purchases. Honestly, I love making things, but I also love just seeing my bin of fabric. As I have made small gifts this past year, each piece of fabric reminds me of the beautiful child who now wears it.

I am incredibly intimidated by my sewing machine, though each project reaffirms that they often seem more difficult in a book than when I am actually doing it. I look at projects like I look at recipes: if I've never heard of an ingredient, I move on. If I don't know how do figure out a sewing technique, I usually choose to do something else. Each piece reminds me of that and I am slowly expanding my horizons. Here is my latest, VERY SIMPLE, elementary level, project. It was inspired by a Saturday of digging through Julia's closet to put away her clothes and set out her current size (something that I feel like I do too often!) In the midst of her newest clothes I found this sweatshirt. I realized that she is currently at a great size where sweatshirts will now be very useful, but I was a bit disappointed that this sweatshirt promoted a college doesn't mean much to us (I will not name it so as not to offend any Big Ten college fans). I decided to make it into a project...

Here is the result:

(I have a great model!)

For the hood I used long strips and folded them inch by ince and pinned them down then sewed to secure it. It adds a bit of character.

A sweatshirt destined for the "never to be worn" pile is now one of my very favorites! It helps that each time Julia wears it she insists on wearing her hood up as she marches through the house yelling "APPLE!"

LCGray

Why?

Soup's on.

Ingredients

Directions

If you bake it, they will come

The hidden perks of parenting

Homecoming (kind of)

REsolution.

Christmas highlights

Dear Santa...

Christmas bow

baby feet

Guest post and gearing up

family

just one day

thankful, thankful

Halloween treats

Simple stitches

it figures...

On our time.

Save yourself :)

....and still growing

Books and a blog

home.

favorite things *(reprise)*

"Maine. The way life should be."

sooo big!

we are here

the greatest gift

1...2...3...4

This I know.

Homecoming outfits

The BIG SISTER award

Our first week

Charlie's arrival

HE IS HERE!

The waiting game

Pull string pinata

cake inspiration

Lobster and BBQ - does life get any better?

brought to you by the number TWO!

easily distracted

Last days as a ONE year old!

creating spaces

Mother's Day love.

baby. boy. gray.

My little fish

A little more Easter (sweets edition)

Easter

22 months

S'mores cupcakes

Spring dress

St. Patrick's adventure O' the day

Parenting 101

Thinking blue

Boy or Girl?

Sweet dress

happy Valentine's Day

Snowed in until further notice...

Welcome 2011 babies!

The "oFFiciaL" kitchen tour

Fabric love (part 2)

Big/little news

Christmas highlights

Christmas (an 18 month old's perspective)

Joyful Joyful!

Fabric love

favorite things (reprise)