Sunday, December 13, 2009

12.13.09 - 6 months later.

Today I took a look back at my orignal entry - I started this blog while I was on bedrest.  I had no idea what was about to happen to our family in those moments.  I remember how scared I was when I was awaiting Julia's arrival.  I knew that I was going to be a good mother, but there are so many unknowns encompassed in the world of birth and newborns and all that goes with it. 
So here she is, Julia Claire, 6 months later...she is her own person!  When I was looking at her in those first moments in the hospital I couldn't quite imagine what kind of baby she would be or what she would be doing at this point.  So I'm writing it - for Julia.  Because I know it will be completely different in another month (or even next week).  I want to remember this time because each day seems so foreign because it's new territory, but at the same time it all just makes sense.

Julia -
6 months ago you arrived in true Julia style - peacefully in a chaos-ridden situation. You knew it was all going to be okay and as soon as you were here, it was.
I once heard someone comment that now that they have a child everyday feels like Christmas morning.  I never understood that until you came into our lives.  I get so excited to see you each morning.  You are so happy in your sleepy state.  You rub your eyes and kick your feet, but you have such a joy about you in the morning.  I am so quick to get you (even in the middle of the night) because it feels like a special treat to be in your presence.  I love sneaking into your room at night just to see you sleep.  You embody peace in those moments.  You have given me a whole new perspective on life as I slow down and take in my time with you.
You have grown so much in the last few months!  You are now sitting up and able to intentionally play with your toys.  You get the biggest kick out of the simplest things!  Tonight you were able to press a button on a toy knowing that it would release the ball that you wanted.  You are so stinking smart! (and you definately know how to get what you want!).  Lately you want to be held a lot.  I think you are just taking so much in that being held feels like "base".  You want to explore your world and then you need a break.  I hope you always keep that healthy's good to explore, but also know who/what you trust.  (Yes, I am the social worker mother who is already teaching you boundaries) :)
You have so much to say and you love making sounds - you just found your tongue and are pretty impressed with the new sounds you are able to make.  When we are in the car you have this little game where you yell out louder..and louder... and louder...and then when you get to your loudest, you fall asleep.  Your daddy and I just laugh at you and wonder what point you are trying to make when you do that.
You are laughing all of the time now.  Scout brings you a lot of joy (although most of the time she is kind of aloof), you don't seem to notice.  One of these days she will come around and you will both be ready to play together. 
Right now my favorite time with you is in the mornings.  Your still sleepy enough that you want to nestle in and be held tight.  I love being your mother and I can't imagine anything that compares with that feeling in all the world.  Each moment with you feels so complete and I thank God for the opportunity to experience this depth in life.
You are growing and growing - the next 6 months will hold whole new set of challenges and adventures.  I still have that new mom feeling of not knowing what's in store, but I guess that is the joy of parenthood.  You always seem to surprise me.
Thank you for your vibrant spirit and your unending joy!
We love you always!

No comments:

Post a Comment